Nightmares, Visitors, And Fantasies
by Laura1981
Summary: A visitor from the 20th Century has Janeway facing some difficult decisions.


**Nightmares, Visitors, And Fantasies**

By Laura

January The usual. These characters aren't mine. Like no shit because if they were Voyager would have been a lot different. Anyway, I'm borrowing them for fun, no infringement intended to Paramount and I certainly make no money from this.

**Pairing:** J/7

**Rating: **NC-17

**Timeline:** Set a few weeks after the two-episode arc "Workforce." I have also changed the sex of the person Janeway became involved with. If you don't like that, tough. The episode "The 37ers" never happened. Why? Because I didn't want to have to try to incorporate that into this workings of this story. Also, the episode "Endgame" never happened, at least not in conventional terms.

**FYI:** If you want an exact picture of what I imagine Alexandra Benson looking like check out the actress Lucy Lawless when she was staring in the TV show Xena. Otherwise feel free to conjure up your own image with the description given.

**Thanks** go to Sezwan and Solise for their beta reading! Any mistakes left are mine alone.

"Nooooooooooo!"

Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the lost Federation Starship Voyager, woke up screaming loud enough to echo into the empty depths of the Delta Quadrant blackness outside her view port that always surrounded and taunted her. Taunted her, because for the fifth night in a row she awoke from the most disturbing nightmare she could imagine.

"Computer, time?" she rasped out, her throat hoarse from screaming. A month ago when the nightmares started she had her quarters sound proofed after having Tuvok, Chief of Security aboard Voyager, come running into her quarters with two Junior grade Lieutenants flanking him, phasers at the ready. He'd received a report from a passing crewmember that the Captain was screaming in her quarters as if she was being attacked. He wasted no time in performing a site to site transport to her quarters when she didn't immediately answer her combadge. It had all been very embarrassing to say the least.

"The time is currently 03:15 hours," the feminine, monotone voice of the computer answered not at all sounding as disturbed as Janeway felt.

She groaned grimly and sank back down into her bed, knowing that sleep would not come again for her tonight.

"Four hours. More then last night I suppose," she sarcastically commented to herself.

Thank god she had sound proofed her quarters! Realizing how much her throat hurt, she could only imagine what Tuvok would have brought with him this time, probably the entire bridge crew. She grimaced at the thought as she visualized all of them materializing in her quarters. Tuvok hadn't been exactly pleased when she soundproofed her quarters, stating if something really were to happen no one would know. She pointed out the possibility of her being assaulted in her quarters was minimal and he had begrudgingly agreed.

Three weeks now, this had to stop. Unfortunately she had no idea how to make that happen. She spoke with the Doctor about a week ago when the lack of proper rest saw her falling asleep at the weekly staff meeting. He ran every test he could think of and came up with nothing conclusive. Actually, he came up with nothing at all. He explained he could occasionally administer a drug that would prevent her from dreaming, but he couldn't recommend it, as it would eventually be worse for her than the nightmares themselves. REM sleep was critical to a person's health. She'd availed herself to the drug once and the next morning regretted it. She had slept through the night, but when she awoke, found she felt worse than when she'd only gotten her usual 4-6 hours. The whole situation had her nerves on edge and she was snapping at everyone, in fact the entire crew had taken to giving her a very wide berth. Chakotay approached her twice, asking her to tell her about the dreams - but she steadfastly refused.

The dreams varied, but they always held the same ending, Seven of Nine… dead. The one that had been taunting her recently was extremely detailed and vivid. She first had it a week ago. It was so remarkably intricate and complicated it almost felt like someone had written it into her head. It involved time travel, which made her head hurt just thinking about it and to compound that, it was she herself who was time travelling...or rather, an elder version of herself. The part that always made her flinch was when her counterpart told her why she'd come back, to save Seven. Well she hadn't said that precisely. She said Seven was going to die in the arms of her husband, Chakotay. Despite the horrors the rest of the dream held, that was the worst part for her. Seven was not only going to die, but she was going to die in the arms of her _husband, Chakotay!_

Janeway jolted upright and jumped out of bed, marching to her replicator and demanding a whiskey that she quickly gulped down. _Married! _Christ, she didn't even think Seven was ready to date! If she thought she was ready she'd..._don't go there Katie! _Her inner voice shouted. "Oh shut up!" she retorted, talking back as if it really existed. "I can't deny it to myself any longer! I refuse to! I've been stuck out here in this godforsaken Delta Quadrant for just on seven years now. I've always, _always_ put any personal desires I may have had far from my conscious thoughts, but I can't anymore." Her voice cracking with despair and then quietly, "I am in love with Seven of Nine."

She moaned in anguish and replicated another whiskey that she again promptly drank down, feeling the amber liquid burning down her sore throat. She knew it was only a nightmare, but the feelings the images left inside her mind were very real and very confronting. She ran a hand through her dishevelled hair then dropped onto her couch sighing.

"It was only a nightmare, Kathryn, get a grip," she scolded herself. "It's not as if Seven is really going to die or marry Chakotay."

_Oh? What about her little dalliance with holo-Chakotay? The voice in her head taunted. _

Janeway blanched. She had no decent comeback for that except that it was only a hologram, certainly not real competition. Besides, she'd checked the program out before Seven had deleted it and found out Seven hadn't done much of anything with the hologram.

_Can you hear these thoughts Katie! Competition? Checking out her program for godsake! You invaded her privacy! _

"I was only watching out for her!"

Her inner voice snorted. _Just what part were you watching out for?_

Janeway glared at the empty air.

_Do you think she'll stay single forever, Katie? She's a beautiful, intelligent woman. Amazing ice blue eyes, supple full lips, perfectly shaped breasts and a tight, firm ass attached to smooth, strong thighs and long legs that go on for miles. Just imagine what they would feel like wrapped arou..._

"I get the picture!" she shouted into the darkness of her quarters, willing her inner self to shut the hell up and stop the mental images bombarding her.

Janeway didn't need to be reminded of what a stunning woman Seven was; she witnessed her beauty everyday for herself. Her annoying little ID could just put a cork in it! She'd finally admitted her feelings to herself. She could admire and love Seven from afar all she wanted to, it was harmless but anything beyond that, she just couldn't do.

_What are you going to do when she does start seeing people, Katie?_

Kathryn didn't want to think about that question. Hopefully when the time arises they'll be home, back on Earth where she herself wasn't bound by the unwritten rule that Captains do not get involved with their subordinates. Seven may be a civilian but while on this ship she was still under Janeway's command. It would be unethical to blur that line.

Janeway couldn't deny that argument was getting old. Maybe it was valid in the Alpha Quadrant, but out here where she may possibly spend the rest of her life? Everyone was her subordinate!

_And what if she dies, Katie?_

That thought stopped her cold, literally. She could feel herself become colder at the thought of seeing Seven's dead body lying before her in her quarters. She shook her head trying to dispel the image. There'd been too many close calls with Seven's life recently. First, her cortical node failed and she'd scrambled to find her a new one. She would have done anything then to get her a new one, including murder. She knew she would have done just that if the Doctor hadn't so strenuously objected. She would have killed a live drone to get that node for Seven. She'd kept such a tight reign on her emotions then, hiding them from everyone, especially Seven. She remembered talking to her in Astrometrics about the situation. Seven told her she wouldn't be able to accept her death because she was an unfinished project for the Captain. A disappointment. _A fucking project!_ Janeway had hardly believed her ears when she'd heard her say that. All she'd wanted to do was take Seven in her arms and tell her how very wrong she was. Instead she corrected Seven, saying she had more than exceeded her expectations and if she was having a hard time accepting reality then it was because she was losing a friend.

Janeway had nearly said more then. Had come so unbelievably close to telling her how she felt but then the Doctor called both of them to sickbay and the moment was lost. Most recently, the ex-Borg had nearly died on an away mission.

It had just been a routine mission to collect deuterium but the away team ran into some thousand year old landmines and one of them nearly killed Seven. If it had been one of the fully human members of the away team, they would have died instantly. It was Seven's nanoprobes that saved her life. Janeway had never been happier that Seven still retained this technology and likely would the rest of her life.

It was just after the accident three weeks ago that Janeway started having her nightmares. She knew without a doubt this was the trigger. Now she often woke up screaming, visions of Seven's broken body fresh in her mind.

Before she could further contemplate the morose path her thoughts were leading her towards, the lighting in her cabin started to blink a glowing red and Ensign Harry Kim's voice came through the comm system.

"Red Alert. Captain Janeway to the bridge."

Before Harry even finished speaking she was off the couch, stripping off her midnight blue silk nightgown and throwing on her uniform. Her command mask slammed into place, all personal thoughts discarded. She was actually thankful for the interruption and glad she'd only had time to consume two whiskeys. Less then a minute later, she was again the formidable Captain Janeway her crew knew her to be. Two minutes later the turbolift opened and deposited her on her bridge.

"Report!" she barked.

Ensign Kim immediately rose from the command chair, relinquishing control back to his Captain.

"Sensors picked up a temporal distortion wave heading right for us," he quickly explained, taking his customary seat at Ops.

Janeway was settling into her command chair, bringing up the readouts on her control panel when Harry's explanation reached her ears. She momentarily froze in surprise; this was too much like her nightmare. She tried to dispel the eerie similarities out of her mind as she heard the turbolift doors open behind her to admit the rest of the Alpha shift as was procedure for a red alert.

Chakotay sat down next to her in his own chair and brought up the readouts on his panel.

"These things seem to be rather abundant out here in the Delta Quadrant," he casually remarked.

Janeway turned to look at him, his forehead was furrowed in concentration as he examined his own readings and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him.

_What were you thinking when you made him your First Officer! What was wrong with Tuvok! _Her annoying little voice questioned her.

_Shut up!_ She hissed back. She really had to get a grip and with that thought, she stuffed away any further negative feelings about him.

"Can we steer clear of it?" she asked Lieutenant Tom Paris, who was at helm control.

"No ma'am, this wave is huge."

She frowned briefly at his choice of descriptive words.

"Time to impact?"

"Three minutes," he answered.

Just great, she thought, this is not what I needed today. Every time they ran into one of these bastards it meant trouble. She couldn't help but think of Seven. Immediately she sent a silent plea to any greater entity that may exist that this distortion had no connection to her nightmare.

Opening a ship wide comm channel she announced, "This is Captain Janeway, we're about to have a run in with a temporal distortion wave. All hands brace for impact."

The bridge crew braced themselves and watched the large view screen in front of them as the iridescent wave made its way toward them. Janeway had the fleeting thought that it really was quite magnificent looking.

"Impact in 10, 9, 8, 7..." Tom started his count down.

Janeway tightened her grip on her armrests but despite that found herself face down on the deck tasting blood not long later. She stifled a groan as she began to lift herself up, feeling her bottom lip throb. Quickly she surveyed the rest of the bridge crew. In front of her Tom was dragging himself back into his chair. Behind her Tuvok was already standing at tactical bringing up damage reports and beside her, Chakotay was knocked out cold on the floor with blood running from a gash on his forehead.

"Janeway to Sickbay, Chakotay's injured, I need..."

The Doctor cut her off, "Sorry Captain, I've got quite a few wounded coming into Sickbay now, I'll need you to bring him down here."

"Any serious injuries?"

"Nothing I won't be able to fix," he replied confidently.

Janeway breathed a sigh of relief she hadn't known she'd been holding.

"Very good, Janeway out," she finished, cutting the comm link.

As he was coming to, Chakotay started moaning at her feet. She motioned for Harry and Ensign White to help escort him to Sickbay.

Before she could turn to Tuvok and ask for a report, he was already speaking. They were not the words she wanted to hear.

"Intruder alert, deck six, Astrometrics."

Slapping her combadge, "Janeway to Seven of Nine," trying to stay calm, controlled.

No response.

"Janeway to Seven!" she said again more urgently, her composure slipping.

Still no answer.

Janeway's throat involuntarily constricted as images she never wanted to see again, flashed through her mind. Walking to the turbolift, she ordered Tuvok to accompany her and left Tom in charge of the bridge.

Ten seconds later, which seemed an eternity to Janeway, they were running full pelt down the corridors of deck six, toward Astrometrics. Janeway tried to block out the images of horror that kept flashing through her mind. Thankfully she didn't have much time to contemplate them as she and Tuvok burst through the doors into Astrometrics. None of the scenarios in her mind's eye came close to what now lay before her. Seven of Nine was stretched out unconscious on the deck beside her work console. Next to her was a woman who was certainly not from Voyager. There was no way a woman like that would have gone unnoticed.

"Step away from her," Tuvok ordered her.

The woman looked up from studying Seven when they burst into the room. Now she was staring at them wide eyed, visibly struggling to keep her own composure. Unlike Janeway, she lost the battle.

"What the hell is going on here!" she yelled, looking between both of them and then back to Seven.

"Step away from her **_now_**," Janeway intoned, her voice low and dangerous.

"This woman needs help!" she demanded, glancing back at Seven again.

"What did you do to her?" Janeway asked, voice dropping to an even deadlier register.

The woman looked at her agape. "Do to her! I didn't do anything to her!" she insisted while getting up off her knees and moving away from Seven, "She was like this when I appeared here!"

With a look, Janeway instructed Tuvok to watch the woman while she checked on Seven. Taking the woman's place next to Seven, she felt for a pulse and when she found a strong one, her shoulders visibly slumped in relief. "Seven," she said firmly, "Seven, can you hear me?"

Janeway watched as Seven started to moan quietly. The sound sent a shiver down her spine and she quickly berated herself, given the circumstances and the reason why Seven was moaning. "Captain?"

"Yes, Seven, are you alright?" she asked, putting her hand on the ex-Borg's shoulder when what she really wanted to do was wrap her in her arms.

Seven opened her eyes, her enhanced vision focusing immediately on Janeway. "I am undamaged. I must have fallen when the shock wave hit us."

Janeway acknowledged the answer with a nod, relieved that all Seven sustained was a bump on the head. Her nanoprobes had already repaired whatever damage there may have been. She carefully took hold of Seven's arm and assisted her to stand; though really she knew Seven probably didn't need help Janeway needed the physical contact.

"You are damaged, Captain," Seven observed with concern, bringing her fully human hand up to lightly touch Janeway's split lip.

Janeway found she wanted to lean into Seven's touch, but instead took Seven's hand and moved it away from her face. Janeway took a step back from her while releasing the hold she'd had on her arm. "It's fine," she responded softly, dismissing Seven's concern. Now that she knew Seven wasn't hurt she reluctantly released her hold on her and approached the intruder while Seven followed.

The woman was pacing in front of Tuvok who had his phaser pointed at her. When she heard the other two women approaching, she looked up from studying the floor and regarded Seven with a large smile. "You're okay!" she beamed. To all involved, she sounded genuinely very pleased about this. Janeway studied the woman and grudgingly admitted she probably held no threat to them. The woman was as tall as Seven with straight jet-black hair that hung to the middle of her back. She had eyes as blue as an Indiana sky on a summer's day and perfectly shaped cheekbones. Her features looked as if they'd been sculpted on with the greatest of care and her body looked as though it hadn't gone a day without exercise in its life. Her attire was a dark blue wetsuit and displayed every curve of her toned body. Water slid from her suit into a puddle on the deck. Janeway felt a slight flush come to her cheeks as she found herself fantasizing what Seven would look like in a wetsuit. Droplets of water dripping from her full lips, leaving a wet trail down her neck, the drop finding it's way beneath her wetsuit to nestle between her firm breasts ... god what she wouldn't give to be that precious drop of H20!

_Jesus Christ Katie, rein it in! Now is just **not** the time_! She yelled silently, mentally slapping herself.

"Who are you?" Janeway demanded, her command training coming down around her so forcefully she thought she could hear the snap of it. The intruder may not look dangerous, but that meant nothing. She had appeared from nowhere on her ship and Janeway needed answers.

The intruder's smile left her face as she turned from Seven and locked eyes with a very severe looking Janeway.

"My name is Alexandra Benson."

"How did you get on board my ship?"

Alexandra looked around briefly, "This is a ship? I don't feel the waves...wait a minute," her lips quirking in a small smile, "did Sarah put you up to this? Surely this is a costume party or something," she gestured toward their clothes and pointed at her own ear, then above her left eye indicating Tuvok's pointy ears and Seven's implant respectively. "I gotta admit though, I've got no idea how you did it… and having this beautiful woman fake an injury just to put me off guard, really wasn't necessary," she finished, winking at Seven.

Tuvok's eyebrow raised slightly now, Seven raised her own brow, lifting her implant as well, while Janeway fought to stay impassive.

"I assure you I did not "fake" my injury. I fell and hit my head when the wave front collided with the ship. The injury was minimal and my nanoprobes were able to repair the damage," Seven explained, not liking the idea that someone thought she had "faked" anything.

Alexandra raised her own eyebrow, "Repaired the damaged huh? Any chance I can get some of those nanoprobes then?"

It was said with sarcastic disbelief, but Seven did not catch on. "I do not believe the manner in which you would have to acquire them would be to your benefit."

Alexandra smiled, "I like you. You..."

"Enough!" Janeway interrupted, she wanted answers but she also didn't like the way Alexandra was starting to look at Seven. She was beginning to get a clue as to just what as going on here. The temporal wave has obviously done more than give them a rough ride. "What's the last thing you remember, Alexandra?"

"Please, call me Alex," she started a slow pace in front of them, "I was surfing on the California coast," she didn't notice the surprise the statement brought to the faces observing her, "I felt a strong wind and thought maybe a storm was coming and the weather report had been wrong, but when I looked around, everything was as blue and clear as before. Before I had time to think about it, I just… sort of… appeared in here. I was standing over... sorry, what was your name?" she asked, looking at the ex-Borg.

"Seven," the ex-Borg answered, keeping her response short.

Alex's brows wrinkled in puzzlement, "Right, Seven... I noticed she was unconscious, so I checked her out. You know the rest," she finished, throwing her hands up slightly indicating she could offer no further explanation than that.

Janeway was getting a headache, a severe one. "What is the year?"

"2010," Alex answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Seven raised both eyebrows in surprise then tilted her head to study the intruder in a new light given this information. Tuvok looked, well, that was difficult to determine. Janeway lowered her head slightly and her fingers came up to squeeze the bridge of her nose.

"The temporal distortion wave must have somehow displaced her," Seven commented, stepping towards Alex examining her avidly, "Interesting."

Alex grinned disarmingly at her, "I find you pretty interesting yourself. Seems as if you know what's going on. Want to let me in on the secret? Is this a TV set or something?" she asked, gesturing at the contents of the Astrometrics room.

No one replied and Alex started to get angry. "Look, what the hell is going on here? I answered your questions. Now answer mine. Who are you people? What the hell am I doing here? And where the hell am I?"

Janeway watched as anger sparked in Alex's eyes and she had the sudden thought this woman was quite capable of taking care of herself, not quite as harmless as first impressions would have one believe. She contemplated what to tell her. This was an entirely new situation to her, in fact she'd never heard of anything like this ever happening before. She considered the Prime Directive but nothing quite covered this situation. She was not interfering in the development of a culture or species...it had just materialized on her ship. She quickly decided to go with the truth. She couldn't very well hide it from her anyway and this would determine if Alex was telling the truth. Janeway straightened herself up and looked Alex in the eyes.

"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship U.S.S. Voyager." Indicating with a wave of her hand, "This is Lieutenant Tuvok, Chief of Security," another wave to her right, "And this is Seven of Nine, ship's Astrometrics officer." Janeway stepped over to Seven's control panel and activated the dormant view screen at the front of Astrometrics. The view now displayed the outside of the ship, black space with far away stars dotting the visage. "You were brought here by a temporal distortion wave we just encountered. Why you are here, I can't answer but when you are I can give you. Welcome to the 24th Century," she finished, watching Alex closely.

Alex stared out the view screen and then back to Janeway, her eyes wide in disbelief. She opened her mouth three times trying to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, promptly shutting her mouth each time, her eyes darting back to the view screen. Then she did something that was very unbecoming of Alexandra Benson… she fainted. Seven, who was standing near her, reached out with her Borg enhanced arm, catching her easily.

"I would advise Sickbay, Captain," Seven commented, supporting Alex against her own frame.

"I concur," Tuvok added.

"Computer, site to site transport, four to sickbay," Janeway instructed.

"Transporters are not functional," the feminine, monotone computer voice replied.

Janeway sighed in exasperation. Seven however, had already lifted Alex into her arms easily supporting her weight.

"I can take her, Captain," Seven told Janeway, already heading towards the doors.

"I'll bet," Janeway mumbled under her breath. If Seven heard, she gave no indication, continuing on her path to sickbay, with Janeway and Tuvok following.

Thirty minutes later Janeway and the entire Senior Staff, minus the Doctor, were gathered in the conference room adjacent to the bridge. Janeway looked like the utmost professional, calm and collected, yet inside, she was extremely bothered by the entire turn of events for reasons she didn't fully understand. It was just one of those "gut" feelings. The rest of the staff looked rather excited about having a newcomer onboard, especially one with such unique origins. The Captain had yet to officially debrief them about her, but news like this never stayed quiet on Voyager for long. The only one who continued to look completely unfazed by the whole scenario was Tuvok, who occasionally offered a raised brow to show his bafflement or surprise. Sometimes Janeway really admired the Vulcan ability to control themselves so stringently.

At that moment, the Doctor breezed into the conference room grinning ear to ear as if he'd just come from a dinner party. All eyes turned and with only a nod from Janeway, he began to present what little there was to report.

"I've run the first set of surface tests, Captain, Alexandra Benson is indeed a human female, aged 25 and in perfect physical condition. Her bio-pattern however is as you suspected, she is most definitely not from this century. She is as she told you, from the early 21st Century," grinning, he added, "and she is a most charming woman."

Janeway fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Thank you, Doctor." She looked around at the rest of her Senior Staff, "Any ideas on how this happened?" she asked as a general question of everyone.

"UFOs," Tom Paris mumbled under his breath, not actually intending to say it out loud.

Tom looked up to see Janeway giving him a peculiar look, one of her eyebrow raised in amusement. "Just an old Earth mystery, ma'am."

"Well, we are in a sense dealing with old Earth history, so by all means continue Mr. Paris," she prompted, leaning back in chair.

Tom was aware of everyone's attention on him and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He really needed to learn to shut up and stop bringing his obsession with Earth's ancient history into everything, though admittedly, the similarities were there.

"Throughout the 20th and in the early part of the 21st century, some people believed in the existence of UFOs, an acronym for unidentified flying objects. Some people believed other life existed besides that on Earth and claim they sometimes saw Alien crafts flying in the night sky. These "sightings" usually came in the form of unidentified lights in the sky, which some people claimed were space ships from Alien worlds, however it all turned out to be a government cover up. Where I see the correlation though is some people also claimed they were abducted by these UFOs, which of course turned out to be false since there were none, but some people occasionally reported missing family members or friends. One minute they were there with them and then the next minute, they were gone. There were no reports of strange lights in the night sky with these events either, in fact they usually happened during the day, much like the situation with Alexandra Benson. These people just disappeared and were never seen or heard from again."

Janeway eyed him sceptically, "So, you're saying there are records of this sort of thing happening in Earth's past?"

Paris nodded, "Yeah, and a reason for these disappearances was never found. Maybe we've found it," he added, shrugging his shoulders.

"So, temporal waves were snatching people from Earth hundreds of years ago and what...waiting hundreds of years to deposit them in the future?" she asked dryly.

"It might not be hundreds of years for the wave, Captain," Paris pointed out, "in fact, it appears as if it were instantaneous."

The Captain's head started to pound at the thought of discussing temporal theory, "This is still just conjecture and even if it were true, there's apparently no way to send her back. Even if we did find a way… the ramifications could be time altering."

"Do you intend to keep her here even if we find a way to send her back?" asked Chakotay, surprised.

Janeway settled her gaze on him, "I am not entirely sure at this stage, but we have to look at what sending her back would do to Earth's past. She would go back with knowledge of technology and events of what the human race is to become."

"Maybe that's how it's supposed to be," Harry offered.

"Yeah, maybe this Benson woman was supposed to get transported to the future, then go back and help humanity progress faster than what we originally did," B'Elanna added.

"Then what would that mean for all of us and for the history that's already been created?" Paris asked, joining in the discussion once more.

"Maybe this history was only meant to be short-lived," Harry returned.

"How can we know that though? Is it really our place to decide?" the Doctor put in.

"Well, we're the only ones here," Paris pointed out.

"What about Alexandra? Shouldn't she be the one to decide if the choice exists, it is her life after all," the Doctor questioned.

By this point, Janeway had dropped her head in her hands, gently massaging her temples, trying desperately to get the vein in her head to stop pounding. She quickly moved her eyes around the table. She noticed Tuvok and Seven were the only ones who'd remained silent, yet keenly observing everything. Indeed, it seemed Seven had quite the glint in her eye.

"Enough!" Janeway commanded, "Right now there is no way to send her back, _if_ a way is discovered, then we'll discuss it at that time. For now, once the Doctor finishes running further tests on her, I intend to release her from sickbay and let her get aquatinted with her new reality. I want all of you when on duty to keep a close eye on her. This transition is not going to be easy and we have no way of knowing how she is going to cope with it. She will only have limited access to the ship's computers and decks until I am absolutely certain she poses no threat to this ship or it's crew. I know this all seems straight-forward," she grinned sardonically, "or at least as straight-forward as temporal mechanics can be, but I want to be sure. One thing we've all learned is you can never be too careful out here in the Delta Quadrant."

With a nod she dismissed them and she watched as they all hurried out, no doubt anticipating getting to know Alexandra Benson. The Captain tried again to dismiss her negative feelings towards the woman. Her feelings were absolutely unfounded, and given the situation she should feel compassion for this woman more than anything else. So why couldn't she?

Seven of Nine sat alone consuming her nutritional supplement in the messhall. It was 1500 hours and except for two Ensigns sitting together quietly conversing across the room, she was the only occupant. She briefly thought of Neelix, the only native of the Delta Quadrant they carried aboard Voyager up until recently. He had decided to stay with a colony of his own people they had stumbled upon rather than continue on with them as they made the arduous journey back to the Alpha Quadrant. She was glad he found happiness, but she found herself occasionally missing him, as he was one of the few crewmembers aboard the ship that was comfortable talking with her. She had been onboard for four years now, yet she could tell some people were still afraid of her, or just out-right did not like her. It was not nearly as difficult as it had been in the beginning, people no longer flinched when she walked passed them and she knew she would just have to accept that some would never like her or trust her. No matter how many times she had proven herself. It should not bother her, after all she was Borg and she certainly would never tell anyone it did, but she admitted to herself that now and then, it depressed her. Now was one of those times and the reason she was consuming the bland tasting liquid nutritional supplement instead of replicating something more to her individual liking. She never felt like eating when she was depressed. She consumed the rest of her supplement quickly and prepared to leave. She absolutely abhorred feeling depressed, finding it one of the weakest, most futile of all human emotions. She decided to go to the holodeck to fight it out of her system. She had recently created her own martial arts program consisting of various techniques from many different forms of the practice. She placed particular emphasis on Tsunkatsi, the fighting technique she had been introduced to under less then desirable conditions, however, she found she enjoyed Tsunkatsi when practicing it of her own free will. It also helped her to focus and these were skills she knew would serve her well aboard Voyager with all the hostile situations they encountered. Tuvok offered similar courses for the security department, but this was much more intense than those and it was tailor made for her.

Seven began to rise from her seat when she heard the messhall doors swish open. Raising her head to look at the person entering, she was surprised to see Alexandra Benson stroll casually into the room. She remained seated as she observed the woman stare in wonder out the viewport. Seven studied the woman and decided her initial inspection of her was correct; she was indeed very attractive. Even in this foreign environment she stood with confidence and surety, a trait that made her think of Captain Janeway. Seven sighed as her thoughts drifted to the Captain. Her feelings for the petite auburn haired Captain had started to change almost two years ago. Granted, she had not recognized that in the beginning, she only started to become fully conscious of it a year ago. When she fully understood what her feelings were developing into she tried to hide from them in true Borg fashion. Seven told herself that feelings were irrelevant, that love was irrational, but that did not help alleviate her feelings. She had even created a holo-simulation of Chakotay because she wanted to discover if her feelings for the Captain were real, or if she was capable of feeling this way for anyone, given the right circumstances. She soon discovered she certainly was not and if anything her little experiment made her love for the Captain grow exponentially. Though she later admitted to herself that choosing Chakotay as her experiment was rather...short-sighted. Even with all the extra personality sub-routines she coded into his program, he still was nothing more than "a plank of wood." She remembered when she first heard a crewmember call him that and how it puzzled her, now she fully understood.

As Seven observed Alexandra Benson she wondered, if perhaps, she should have chosen a female member of the crew for her experiment since Captain Janeway was indeed female. An idea began to formulate and made her raise her Borg implant unconsciously. Maybe… a real life experiment would be more beneficial? She dismissed the idea two seconds later. All her research told her "playing with hearts" was an extremely negative thing to do. Since Alexandra Benson was indeed a living, breathing woman, she had a heart and Seven would not want to damage it. Besides, she came to realize on her own, without experimentation, that her love for the Captain was very real. Recently Voyager's crew had their memories wiped and they were all forced to work on an alien planet. During that time, the Captain met a woman and pursued a relationship with her, an intimate relationship. When Seven learned of this development, the emotional pain the thought of it caused her shocked Seven. She decided she should tell the Captain of her feelings for her, but after a few days thinking about how she would tell her and just what the Captain might say in return… Seven concluded that Janeway would never return her love.

She had been Borg 18 years of her life, an instrument of genocide, destruction, and utter devastation. A woman who would always be, in some way… Borg. She may have changed on the inside, but outside she never would. Her body would always hold the metallic implants delivered at the hands of the Borg, nothing could take them away and so many would never let her forget. They didn't know that she was incapable of forgetting. That she would always carry with her the screams of so many species in her mind. If not for her Borg ability of being able to block out memories, she would likely go crazy. A woman like Captain Janeway could never love her. She could indeed be her friend, as she was now, but being _in love_ was entirely different to just loving a friend. Someone like her, an ex-Borg drone, did not have a chance that a woman like the formidable Janeway would ever love her in return.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

Seven was snapped out of her morose thoughts by the soft feminine voice. She looked up into the warm, friendly, blue eyes of Alexandra Benson. In return she gave a slight, tentative smile to the larger one now beaming at her. Smiling was something Seven only recently started trying to do, so she was still unsure of herself when doing it.

"You may, Alexandra Benson," she answered. She had been about to leave again, but decided that talking to this woman might also prove to be just as distracting as her martial arts program. "I did not know you were going to be released from Sickbay so soon and you are here unescorted," she added, the fact only just registering with her.

"First, please call me Alex and you really should smile more often," the brunette commented sitting down opposite Seven. "As for the rest, the Doc finished his tests and I asked nicely to have some time alone."

"Yet you are now here, with me," Seven observed.

Alex smiled sheepishly, "Can't pass up good company."

Seven merely raised her eyebrow. She wasn't sure what to say, small talk had never been one of her strong points, but she found herself quite willing to try engaging in it with this woman. Admitting she did find her rather intriguing.

"This must be very difficult for you."

"It's not exactly what I was expecting to come across today when I decided to go surfing. Maybe, if I was really unlucky a shark, but not blue people."

"Blue people?"

"Bolians."

The look of confusion left Seven's face momentarily, but then quickly returned, "You know about Bolians?"

Alex smiled, "Not really. One of them came into Sickbay when I was there and the Doctor told me the name of the species. On the way here I saw at least another six different species; I have a lot of reading to do. That's actually why I came down here, I want to access the ship's library and read about the last few centuries. This really is an amazing opportunity."

Seven looked at her with surprise. "You are not finding it hard to adjust?"

"Well, I've only been here for 12 hours, most of that time spent in sickbay, which by the way I never thanked you for getting me there. Thank you, you're obviously a lot stronger then you look."

"The transporters were not functional," Seven replied.

"That's another thing I have to check out, I always wished there was something like that back in my time. Anyway, about adjusting, undoubtedly I may have a hard time at some point, if I am here long enough to have to adjust. Right now though, it really feels like a dream, far too unrealistic to have fully registered with me yet just what it means. I also don't know how long I'm going to be here. It may be only a minute more, a few weeks, or maybe the rest of my life. The Doctor explained to me how I got here, so who knows… that wave may just come back and deposit me back in my own time. So, for right now I'm going to absorb every piece of information I can possibly get about this time, this ship and you people. If I'm still here in a week, then I'll think about it more."

Seven inclined her head in understanding. She tried to put herself in Alex's position. If she had just appeared in the 21st century, she would probably do the same. Why worry about something that may not be permanent? Obviously this was the way Alex was choosing to adjust and Seven was not going to try and tell her to do it differently.

"Honestly I'm extremely happy humanity has progressed this way. I was a little worried at first when I saw the uniforms and guns..."

"Phasers," Seven corrected.

"Yeah, phasers, another brilliant invention, much more efficient than the weapons used in the 21st century. I'd really like to have a closer look at one of them. Anyway, I was a little concerned at first thinking that humanity turned into a completely militaristic society, but I've quickly read the basics about Starfleet and realize that is not the case. The only thing I do find myself having trouble adjusting to at the moment is all the different species."

"Explain," Seven stated as a command more then a question. Alex didn't think about how it was stated though.

"Don't misunderstand, I think it's fantastic. It's just a culture shock for me to see how these different species get along so easily together. God, in my time, not even humans can get along together. It's mind boggling for me to think we have been able to move past all that and now openly embrace other species."

"Please specify what you mean by 'move past all that?'" Seven asked rather then commanded, as she was perplexed.

"In the early 21st Century humans still fight against each other over the colour of our skin, over differences in idea and religion. To think we eventually find a way to move past all that and become united gives me a hope that I was losing, hope that many humans are losing in that time."

"Humanity is still far from perfect," Seven commented.

Alex laughed. "Humanity will never be perfect, Seven. There are too many variables." Alex then decided to change the subject to one she had been curious about ever since her arrival. "There were a couple of questions I've been wanting to ask you." Alex told Seven, her head tilted slightly to the side as she studied Seven's features.

Seven shifted in her seat, suddenly feeling vaguely uncomfortable, having no doubt as to what those questions might be. "Proceed."

Alex smiled briefly at Seven's wording, but quickly a more serious look came back to her face. "Why are you named after a number? Why don't you use contractions? And without sounding rude, because truly they are quite flattering on you, what are those silver adornments on your face and hand?"

Seven unconsciously tensed her body to the quality of steel. She should not really care what this woman thought of her, but found herself wanting Alex to like her, or at least, to not fear her. It was completely illogical, yet it was true. Once Alex found out what she had been though, what she was responsible for, how could she even tolerate her? After all, people of this enlightened century had a hard enough time looking past her Borgness, if they could at all. How could she expect someone from the early 21st century to look past it? To not be terrified of it and her?

"Although I am human now I have not always been so. I spent 18 years of my life as a Borg drone. My designation was Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One. The Borg did not use contractions and it is a part of human speech I have found difficult to incorporate into my speech patterns. The "adornments" as you call them are actually implants which can never be removed from my body and will always be there to serve as a reminder of my time in the Collective." Seven rose from the table and walked to the replicator set in the wall. She returned with a padd, placing it in front of Alex who was now looking at her with much curiosity and confusion. "These are all the files on the Borg. In them you will find information about my time with them as well as information about my human designation, Annika Hansen. Reading this information will explain everything to you far more efficiently than I can. I must leave now."

Seven looked into Alex's eyes for a few moments more before departing the messhall. Making her way to holodeck one where she would focus her depression now turned to insecurity, on her martial arts program. She loathed feeling insecure as much as she loathed feeling depressed.

Alex was startled by Seven's abrupt departure but determined it must have to do with the woman's past. Alex picked up the padd and began reading, thankful the Doctor had instructed her on the padds use before she left sickbay.

It was the next day when Alex asked the computer to locate Seven of Nine; it responded that she was located in holodeck one. After Alex figured out where that was she made her way there, determination in her stride, her emotions reeling. After Seven had left the messhall yesterday afternoon Alex had spent the next 24 hours reading everything she could find on the Borg and on Annika Hansen; she'd had little sleep. There wasn't much information about the woman, but she hadn't expected there to be when she learned Seven had been assimilated when she was only 6 years old. Alex was appalled by these _things_ known as the Borg, infuriated at what they had done to this young woman when she was only a child. Alex felt an immeasurable sense of compassion towards Seven and all she had endured. No doubt Seven was still battling the effects from her time as a drone in the twisted collective. How Seven was able to live with the memories she must have, Alex had no idea. She understood now why Seven had left so abruptly, but if Seven thought this would scare her off she had another thing coming.

Seven had just finished a particularly strenuous training program. Even with her increased endurance thanks to her nanoprobes, she was feeling drained. So, she was caught completely off guard when the doors to the holodeck opened to reveal a quite stunning Alex striding towards her. Alex didn't bother looking at her surroundings; she found Seven's eyes and held them with her own. When she was finally standing in front of the ex-Borg drone she hoped her eyes would convey what she felt no words could. After a few silent moments of Seven looking at her with questioning, hesitant eyes Alex could not just stand there any longer. Alex took Seven into her arms and hugged her tightly. Seven stiffened at first, not expecting this to be Alex's reaction to everything she must obviously have read by now. After a few moments, she felt herself relax into the embrace and if she was completely honest with herself, she had to acknowledge she was enjoying being held so closely in the strong, firm embrace of this woman. Soon she found herself returning the hug and feeling extremely pleased that she would indeed be allowed to get to know Alex better.

**Two months later**.

Janeway sighed to herself as she again tried to fix her appearance in the mirror. She was wearing a low cut black dress that hugged her in all the right places. The dress looked great, but it was her face that was a mess. She was trying to cover the heavy bags under her eyes with make up, but not having much success. The nightmares continued and had now been going on nearing three months. Janeway wasn't sure how she had tolerated it this long and was sure she was losing her grip on reality. The Captain's mask still covered her reasonably well outside her quarters, though it had been starting to crack a little in public, but when she was behind these doors, she crumbled. The nightmares weren't happening every night as they had in the beginning, but now at nearly three months the scale of how long was too long had changed.

Janeway finished applying as much make up as she could before she started to look like a clown. Make up concealed most of it, but if someone looked closely enough they would still be able to see her weariness. She walked to her replicator and demanded a whiskey; this was another thing that was getting out of hand; her drinking. Janeway discovered a few nights ago, when her thoughts were particular negative and her visions of Seven overwhelming, that if she drank herself into oblivion, she slept without nightmares. She had done this once more since she first discovered it and felt absolutely weak and pathetic for doing so. Dependency on anything was not Kathryn Janeway's style and she would be damned before she would ever be dependent on any chemical. Despite all her internal bravado to herself, she still kept drinking. She had to get a grip, her ship was lost in the Delta Quadrant, and she couldn't let herself succumb to whatever this was.

"You're losing yourself, Kathryn."

Janeway heard her voice whisper the words into the darkness and knew they were true. After nearly three months of living like this she was forced to face some truths about herself. She could not deny her feelings for Seven or pretend to push them away forever. Not when she didn't know how long forever was. As much as Janeway thought she might have lost it, she had a heart and it belonged to Seven. These years stuck out here she truly thought for a while she had lost the ability to fall in love. After all, that ability would hardly serve her well out here, but Janeway knew the naiveté of thinking like that now. The Captain was the lone authority for 140 people out here. Janeway didn't have to answer to anyone except herself and as hard on herself as she was, she had to admit she questioned the ethics of some of her decisions lately. Having no one to answer to was as much a curse as it was a gift. Having someone to love, someone who you don't ever want to disappoint would equal out her lone authority. That was how she rationalized this decision in regard to the no fraternization policy Starfleet believed in. Besides, it didn't look like they were getting home anytime soon and some of those rules just didn't work anymore in the Delta Quadrant. Janeway had to acknowledge that, and falling in love with Seven had made accepting it a hell of a lot easier.

Recycling the rest of her drink, the Captain checked herself in the mirror one last time. She looked as good as she was going to right now. Tonight there was a party in holodeck two and the Captain decided tonight she was going to talk to Seven. She was more than just Captain Janeway; Kathryn Janeway lay just beneath the surface, always waiting for the opportunity to show herself but always being buried further inside. Kathryn was done living that way. She was a woman as well as a Captain and had the same needs every other woman had. Kathryn was tired of playing. Game over. Janeway would always be the Captain, but there was no reason she couldn't have a life outside of that as well.

Janeway still had doubts as to whether Seven would be ready for a real relationship, or if for that matter Seven would even return her feelings, but she was never going to know these things unless she took a chance.

Janeway left her quarters and walked the short distance to the turbolift that would take her to the holodeck. The Captain thought about Alexandra Benson as the lift stopped and deposited her on deck six where the rolodex were located. The party tonight was being held by Alex and Tom Paris, the theme was late 20th century. She didn't know anything else about the setting beyond that. Alex was fitting into the ship's family wonderfully; there was no denying that. Everyone liked her, got along well with her and often sought her out. Janeway also noticed that while Alex attracted people like a magnet, she kept herself at a certain distance with all of them, except a chosen few that had become her close friends. Janeway knew Seven was one of them. While Janeway was happy for Seven that she'd found a close friend, Janeway was also jealous. Having always thought of herself as a close friend to Seven, she now questioned that. Janeway never allowed herself to interact with Seven the way Alex did, because she was Captain. Janeway was always worried about how people perceived her and Alex just didn't give a damn what people thought of her. Janeway envied Alex that position, yet knew as Captain she couldn't assume that attitude.

Arriving at the entrance to the holodeck Janeway keyed in the general admittance code on the keypad. Assaulted with flashing lights and loud music coming from the dance floor as soon as she entered Janeway blinked her eyes a couple times to get her bearings. Janeway recognized some of the program, yet much had been added to it. For the past six weeks Alex had been giving dance lessons to anyone who wanted them and the dance floor was from that program. Janeway hadn't taken any lessons, keeping her distance from Alex, but she'd visited the program once just to check it out. Alex was quite the expert and that was only one of her many talents.

A few weeks after she'd arrived on the ship Janeway had Alex enter all her personal details into the ship's computer and registered her as a member of the crew, a civilian, but she had wanted her on record. It was also a way to learn about the woman without having to have a long conversation with her. Alex was born May 20th, 1985 in Washington. Her father was a successful lawyer, her mother a psychologist. When Alex was sixteen both of her parents died in a plane crash. Alex lived with her mother's sister until she was 18 years old when she went away to University in California. Alex wasn't specific about what she'd studied, just citing many different courses, but never receiving a degree. At 22, Alex became restless and left the University, moving to Montana. There she taught dance and various forms of martial arts, both of which she'd trained in since she was five years old. These two things alone explained the woman's exquisite physique.

"Captain! It's good to see you here!" Tom Paris exclaimed, walking over from the bar area. He was dressed in simple jeans and a T-shirt, the standard clothes of the day then. Janeway glanced around when she'd arrived, thinking maybe she was over-dressed, but found many other women dressed just as well as she was. There didn't seem to be a dress code.

Tom joined her, grinning ear to ear. Returning the smile she said, "I wasn't going to miss this. It's been the talk of the ship for weeks now. Once it got out you and Alex were creating the program, the crew were just counting the days until they could experience it."

Like a young kid who'd just received a new toy, he asked, "Isn't it great? None of my past programs have ever had such perfect detail. I couldn't have done this without Alex. I'm amazed how quickly she caught on to holoprogramming! I swear that woman has a computer for a brain. She learns so quickly! Have you ever thought of giving her some duties in one of the departments?"

The question caught Janeway off guard and she looked at him with surprise, "No, I haven't. She's only been here two months, Tom," she finished with a laugh.

Tom grinned sheepishly, "Yeah, I know, she's just so intelligent. Have you ever had a conversation with her, Captain?"

Janeway laughed at Tom's eagerness over Alex; it was almost like she was his new toy. "You're quite taken with her aren't you?"

Tom blushed, "Not in the way you might think. I mean, she's beautiful and beyond intelligent, but I love B'Elanna. Alex and I are just friends. Besides, Alex is far more interested in someone else," a smirk on his face as he gestured in the direction of some tables.

Janeway looked past the crowded dance floor toward the table Tom was pointing at. Suddenly she was on an emotional roller coaster ride. Seven of Nine was seated at the table, her hair down, falling around her shoulders in a way Janeway found provocative. She was wearing a white dress that fit her body like a glove, when she moved; the dress caressed her curves in a way that made Janeway's mouth water. She'd never seen Seven look so stunning. Then she saw who was sitting with Seven, Alex who of course also looked stunning, wearing a cerulean coloured dress that fit just as perfectly as Seven's. Suddenly it hit her they were holding hands. Not only holding hands, they were leaning into each other over the table, their body language screaming intimacy. Janeway felt the world drop out beneath her as Alex leaned over further toward Seven, pressing her lips to the Borg's own full ones. Janeway didn't know what reaction she expected from Seven, but it was certainly wasn't the one she gave. Seven kissed Alex back with passion; a passion Janeway had no idea the Borg was capable of.

Janeway felt a hand on her elbow and heard Tom Paris asking if she was okay.

Blinking twice didn't make the image change; Seven and Alex were still kissing.

"Why do you ask?" she finally replied, her voice so soft Paris hardly heard her.

"Well, you were sort of swaying there for a few seconds, I thought you might faint."

Janeway let out a short bark of laughter, but it was tinged with sadness. "I'm fine. Why don't you show me around your program Tom, start with the bar, I could use a stiff drink or two."

"Uh, sure, Captain. Right this way." He kept hold of her elbow guiding her to a stool at the bar. He ordered her a whiskey, which she promptly drank down. "Another, Captain?" he asked.

"Oh definitely, this time make it a double," she demanded, her voice slightly hoarse from the whiskey trail blazing down her throat.

Tom hesitated momentarily, but ordered the drink. Realizing something was suddenly wrong with the Captain he could only guess it had something to do with Alex and Seven since that's when her mood shifted. Thinking he should find B'Elanna and ask her opinion on it, he started looking around for the half Klingon human. Then again maybe he should just keep himself and his girlfriend out of the Captain's business. Before he had time to think any further, the strobe lights stopped flashing and the techno beat stopped. White lights replaced the strobes and a soft, sensual song filled the air. Both he and the Captain turned to the dance floor to see what was going on.

Janeway saw Alex rise from her seat. At first Janeway was just glad the woman's lips were off of Seven's, but then she watched Alex take Seven's hand and guide her to the dance floor as the first notes of a new song started to play. The two of them looked stunning together. The picture of beauty. Though her eyes were locked on them she noticed the Doctor in another corner taking holoimages of the two. Other couples on the floor cleared way to make room for them. Some began to dance again themselves, but the majority of the room was watching Seven and Alex, no doubt just as entranced as Janeway was. They oozed erotic sexuality.

Alex held Seven around the waist, while Seven draped her arms around Alex's shoulders. Their pose relaxed, bodies pressed against each other, yet lose and moving to the music in a sexual rhythm.

_I've been meaning to tell you, I've got this feeling that won't subside,_

_I look at you and I fantasize, you're mine tonight, _

_Now I've got you in my sights, with these hungry eyes_

Alex slipped her leg between Seven's, her arm supporting her back as Seven leaned back, letting herself roll before coming back up to meet Alex's eyes, their bodies still moving as one.

_One look at you and I can't disguise, I've got hungry eyes,_

_I feel the magic between you and I_

_I want to hold you so hear me out,_

_I want to show you what love's all about, darling tonight,_

Alex grinned suggestively at Seven, their faces only an inch apart.

_Now I've got you in my sights, with these hungry eyes_

The same move as before repeated, only this time Alex's thigh squeezing in a little further between Seven's legs causing Seven's dress to ride up, exposing more of cool, white flesh.

_One look at you and I can't disguise, I've got hungry eyes,_

_I feel the magic between you and I, I've got hungry eyes, _

_Now I've got you in my sights, with my hungry eyes,_

_Now did I take you by surprise_

_I need you to see, this love was meant to be_

Janeway knew the look on Alex's face.

_I've got hungry eyes,_

_One look at you and I can't disguise, I've got hungry eyes,_

_I feel the magic between you and I, I've got hungry eyes,_

_Now I've got you in my sights, with my hungry eyes,_

_Did I take you by surprise, with my hungry eyes_

As the song started to fade the two somehow managed to separate their bodies. Janeway had never seen two people dance like that, it must have been some style of dance that died out, but she was sure Alexandra Benson had just brought it back with a vengeance. Despite the fact it had killed her to watch the two dancing like that, it was an incredibly erotic performance and she found herself very turned on. Hollering over the whooping and cheering crowd, Janeway ordered another drink. She downed the last double whiskey during their dance.

Janeway slammed it back as soon as the bartender put it down in front of her. She quickly did a scan of the room for the two women and found them again at the table, Alex whispering something in Seven's ear causing her to smile a dazzling full smile. It occurred to Janeway then that she had never seen Seven smile like that before and while the beauty of it mesmerized her, she also felt a sharp pang in her chest that she was not the one causing it.

The Captain looked away for a brief moment realizing she was alone at the bar, she had no idea where Tom went, more then likely to find B'Elanna and go home. That's certainly what she would if she had someone to go home with after watching that little performance. Janeway found the women again and continued to watch them. This was sick, Janeway knew it was sick, but she couldn't help herself. Signalling the bartender with a wave of her hand, she ordered another drink.

Hearing another song start, the Captain gave a bark of sarcastic laughter as she caught a few lines of it.

_I follow you home every night, _

_Just to make sure that you get there alright,_

_Baby it's true, can't think of anything but you_

God, how true was this? How many times did she find herself following Seven into Cargo Bay two moments after Seven started her regeneration cycle? More times then she could count. Janeway watched Alex's fingers play on the back of Seven's hand and took a long swallow of her whiskey.

_You've got me on my knees, I burn throughout the night,_

_And I can't live without your love_

_Well, you better learn how to, Kathryn, it's obvious she's given it to someone else_. She swallowed the rest of the amber liquid and demanded another from the bartender.

"You might want to slow down lady, you'll be plastered out of your skull at the rate you're going," the bartender admonished her, using 20th century slang he'd been programmed to use.

The Captain levelled him with a force ten glare that caused even holograms to shut their light particle filled mouths and back off. He quickly deposited another whiskey in front of her. Taking a long drink and relishing the burn down her throat, Janeway wondered why she kept watching Seven and Alex? Why didn't she just get up and leave!

_You gotta know, you see me everywhere that you go,_

_Doesn't that say something, obsession's taking hold of me_

She snorted at the lyrics, finding them extremely fitting.

_Can't take another night alone without you_

Janeway finished the rest of the whiskey while listening to the pounding music, feeling it fuel her mood. Janeway slammed the empty glass onto the bar and the bartender, not needing words after the last incident, brought another drink just as her eyes commanded. Janeway now lost track of how many she'd had, but felt the warm liquid burn through her body, dulling her senses, but not her emotions. If anything, it amplified them. Janeway's eyes glared into Alex who reached across the table to caress Seven's cheek. The Captain wanted to throw her drink across the room, to scream at them to stop, but she didn't, she sat there silently, watching and drinking.

Twenty minutes later, Janeway knew she was very drunk. It had been a long, long time since she'd drank so much so quickly. Seven and Alex hadn't done anything else to make her want to throw her drink across the room and now she found her anger dissipating to be replaced by extreme depression. Janeway tossed back some more of her drink, deciding to mark herself as off duty for tomorrow.

"You alright, Captain?" a deep male voice asked from behind her.

Janeway groaned out loud, not thinking about how it might be interpreted and not giving one damn right now anyway. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to goddamn Commander Chakotay! Then to make matters worse, a new song started called "Do You Love Me" and she again watched Alex lead Seven to the dance floor. This time half the people in the room joined in dancing and in a few seconds, they were all dancing the same provocative, sexual dance Seven and Alex had gyrated to before.

"She's turned this ship into one big fucking orgy!" Janeway shouted aloud, her words slightly slurred.

"Excuse me, Captain?" Chakotay asked, not hearing the end of the sentence as the song picked up becoming louder.

Janeway twirled around on her bar stool to look at him nearly falling off in the process and Chakotay put a hand out to steady her. She pulled away from him forcefully hitting her back against the bar. She winced.

"Captain, you're drunk!" Chakotay blurted, shock colouring his tone.

"Point to you, Commander," she sarcastically slurred in reply. Glancing back at the dance floor Janeway's eyes found Seven and Alex wrapped around each other, their bodies gliding fluidly together. "Oh fuck this!" she yelled. She was sorely tempted to walk right over and punch Alexandra Benson flat on her ass but despite how drunk she felt, Janeway wasn't drunk enough to do that. She was still Captain; no amount of alcohol or anger would make her forget she had an image to uphold. An image she realized was rapidly slipping away from her. She finished her drink, shoved Chakotay out of her way and moved to leave the holodeck before she did something she'd regret.

"Captain, wait! I think we should talk..." Chakotay started.

Janeway turned on him and despite the foggy haze the alcohol had caused in her eyes she still stopped him in his tracks with her force ten glare. "Don't." She intoned menacingly before turning back and making her way out of the holodeck. The one word was enough to convince Chakotay not to follow her.

Janeway furiously stormed out of the holodeck and headed to the turbolift that would take her to the sanctuary of her quarters. The few crewmembers she passed in the corridors gave her a wide berth when they saw her trademark force ten glare etched into her features as their Captain stalked down the corridor. They were only glad she kept walking and was not going to release her fury on them.

When Janeway finally arrived at her quarters and was safely inside behind closed doors she placed a seal on them with instructions to only disturb her in case of a red alert and then Captain Kathryn Janeway lost it. Janeway ran to her desk and threw everything off onto the floor, many mementos she'd collected along their journey shattering in the process. Throwing one of the heavier objects directly into the glass of her coffee table that was sitting in the middle of the room, the glass bursting on impact, shards flying in every direction; one cutting Janeway's leg. Janeway grabbed the wooden legs of the table and upended it, cursing furiously as she continued her destruction. A few minutes later, when she had finally run out of objects to throw Janeway stood in the middle of the room surveying the fallout. Chest heaving, fists clenched, blood running down her leg in a slow trickle where the errant shard of glass had cut her flesh. Janeway's eyes were a violent, tempestuous grey as she glared out the view port watching the stars streak past. Kathryn looked towards the ceiling and screamed.

With her anger finally spent the adrenaline started to wear off and she crumpled in a heap to the deck. Sitting in the middle of a room that looked as though a tornado had just hit, Kathryn's head fell into her hands and she cried.

_I've lost her. Oh god, how could I let myself lose her? I can take anything the Delta Quadrant throws at me, but I couldn't tell Seven how I feel and now it's too late. After three years stuck out here, she walked into my life. I can't explain it, but the first time I saw her I knew she was different; there was something about her, something that called to me that even now I can't name. I suppose it was a type of recognition...of what I didn't know, but even underneath all that Borg circuitry I saw something in her. I figured that out not long after I forced her from the Collective and made her stay onboard. It was on one of those many nights after she'd first come aboard, as I lay awake thinking about her, asking myself why in the hell I would take it upon myself to endanger my ship like that? Allowing a Borg to live among us when she still had the ability to assimilate any of us at any time? Why did I never insist the Doctor find a way to take that ability from her? Really the answer was quite simple; I trusted her. Even when I had occasionally acted towards her and others that I may have doubted her, I never did. That feeling I had when I first laid eyes on her never changed for me and I know it never will. Seven will always have my trust and my heart._

Kathryn raised her head from her hands, her eyes moving again to the view port and staring out into the blackness. She stopped crying now, a numbness settling over her. _Why did I wait? I used every excuse I could think of to deny my feelings and then when I did accept them, I thought up even more excuses. What did I expect? That she would be there forever? Or maybe that she would come to me if she wanted something when she was ready? _

Kathryn let out a half laugh, half sob at the thought. _Who are you kidding Katie? Look at Seven! She's a beautiful, young, vibrant woman nearly half your age! Did you really think she might be interested? _

Janeway had actually thought the possibility existed. The Captain noticed Seven staring at her when Seven had bridge duty, watching her for long periods of time when Seven thought the Captain wouldn't notice, but Janeway _had_ noticed. Even in the last two months since Alex had arrived on board she'd noticed Seven looking at her, she'd even played it up a couple times. Rubbing up against Seven in Astrometrics or in the messhall whenever she had an excuse to do so. Seven had returned the subtle flirting with what looked to Kathryn like enjoyment, but she must have been mistaken.

_What do I really have to offer Seven anyway?_ Alex really is a perfect match for Seven. Both were roughly the same age, shared the same interests, and were incredibly intelligent and stunningly beautiful. Alex could devote all her time to Seven; cater to Seven's every want and need, as Kathryn didn't have the luxury to do as long as they were in the Delta Quadrant. What did Janeway have that could begin to compare with that?

Janeway looked at the chronometer on the wall; it had just turned midnight.

"Computer, locate Seven of Nine." Janeway instructed her voice hoarse and tired.

"Seven of Nine is located in Alexandra Benson's quarters," the computer promptly replied in even tones, not having any idea of the deep cut those words etched into Kathryn's heart.

Kathryn slowly closed her eyes, her head falling, feeling the pain those simple words infused into her. After sitting on the floor in silence for a few more minutes she finally struggled to stand up. Her head swam and she nearly toppled over, catching herself just in time. Surveying the damage Janeway sighed in disgust with herself.

"You've completely lost it, Kathryn," she said aloud. Right at this moment however, Janeway didn't really care. She walked into her bedroom, which had gone untouched in her madness, and undressed. Janeway couldn't be bothered to get into her shower, so she fell into bed naked. Kathryn's last thought was that even her nightmares could be no worse than reality now.

Seven was lying in Alex's bed with the athletic woman on top of her, kissing a wet trail down Seven's neck and between her breasts. As Alex's hand made its way between Seven's thighs, softly caressing and pulling the dress further up Seven's body an image of the Captain flashed in Seven's mind, the auburn woman's eyes hooded with desire. Seven found herself imagining the caressing hand was Janeway's and she moaned erotically at the image developing in her mind.

"Yes, Seven," Alex whispered into her chest, voice heavy with desire.

Seven's eyes flew open. _Alex! She was with Alex! Why was she thinking about the Captain?_ Seven felt her body stiffen and Alex looked up at her with concern.

"Seven, what's wrong?"

Seven did not know how to explain what was wrong. Only that _this_ was wrong. She could not do this. Not with Alex, no matter how much Seven cared for her and even loved her. However, Seven did not love her in the way she should to perform this act with her.

Alex removed her hand from between Seven's thighs and raised herself onto her arms looking into Seven's wide eyes. Alex didn't see fear and she sighed in relief, but she did see confusion.

"Seven, talk to me. Tell me what the problem is?" Alex prodded gently.

"I cannot do this. I am sorry." Seven explained, not really sounding remorseful, but instead very confused.

Alex removed herself from on top of Seven and sat next to her on the bed. She studied Seven as she also sat up. Even if Alex didn't want to admit it, she knew what the problem was. Seven and she had become very close over the last two months. Seven had spent the majority of her off-duty time with Alex except when she was playing Velocity with Captain Janeway or taking on extra projects for other departments. It was fair to say the two knew each other extremely well now. Seven had been integral in helping Alex adjust to life aboard Voyager when it became apparent she was going to be here for quite some time… possibly the rest of her life. Thanks to Seven, Alex knew how to operate nearly every piece of futuristic equipment Alex used to look at with confusion. Seven had spent long hours with Alex answering her questions about this century and how the technology worked. Alex still had a long way to go to understanding everything, but she was now very comfortable with living on this ship.

Seven had also introduced Alex to her martial arts program when the blonde learned Alex practiced various forms of it since she was five. Seven's program was nothing like Alex had ever participated in before and the first time she ended up in sickbay with a broken ankle. Thankfully with this century's technology it was easily mended, but it taught Alex just how physically enhanced Seven really was. The discovery certainly didn't bother Alex, quite the opposite it turned her on. Seven's Borg past did not bother Alex in the slightest, other than knowing the pain it caused Seven. A pain Seven rarely spoke of and thankfully wasn't often bothered by. Sometimes Alex watched Seven observing the crew in the messhall or Naomi playing a game and Alex noticed a wistful expression would cross Seven's features. One time Alex quietly approached the blonde and asked what was the matter. Seven simply replied that she sometimes ached to have not grown up human. Alex's heart had clutched at the words and she had put her hand on Seven's back rubbing slow circles in silent support. Seven had turned to look at her, her blue eyes bright with emotion and attempted a small smile. That was the moment Alex knew things had changed for her. Her interest in Seven went beyond playful flirting in that moment and changed into something deeper.

A few days later she introduced Seven to dancing. Seven blanched at the offer at first, explaining she had already been introduced to dancing and it was not a pleasant experience. After Seven explained, Alex doubled over with laughter at the image Seven's words had created in her mind. Seven was looking at her with disdain for laughing at what she considered a mortifying moment, but soon her brow smoothed and a wide smile graced her full lips as she watched Alex laugh hysterically.

Alex trained Seven in many forms of dance and Seven was a wonderful student. She caught on quickly and once Seven learned something, she never forgot it. All part of Seven's eidetic memory Alex learned she possessed. Seven continued to train Alex further with her martial arts program. Alex found herself continually amazed with Seven. Alex thought she knew nearly every form of the defensive art there was, but with many new species came many new forms of defence as well. The athletic woman was thrilled to learn them and Seven always showed her the utmost patience. Alex was stunned one afternoon when their training finished, she was complaining about being sore and achy. Seven explained the program was already adjusted to its lowest setting. Seven proceeded to instruct the computer to adjust the program to its highest setting and Seven demonstrated the full extent of her talents and the program. Alex stood there, mouth agape in awe, as Seven moved in ways mere humans were just not capable of. The more Alex learned about Seven the more she thought Seven was the most amazing woman she'd ever met. Now this amazing woman was confused and extremely frustrated with herself.

"I do not know what is wrong," Seven repeated to herself, frustrated.

As much as Alex had wanted this to work, she knew for certain now it never would.

"Captain Janeway," Alex stated simply.

Surprised eyes looked at her. "How did you... I… I did not intend to think of Captain Janeway then," Seven explained, the closest she had ever come to stuttering.

Alex winced internally at the implication but she should have known this was coming. Deep down she admitted to herself she always knew it. Alex wasn't stupid, she knew Seven well and saw how Seven looked at Janeway. Seven never looked at Alex like that, but Alex hoped since Janeway hadn't made any move on Seven, maybe she had a chance. Alex hoped maybe she could help Seven to forget about the Captain. _You sure are arrogant sometimes Alexandra Benson_!

"It's okay, Seven," Alex began, putting her hand on Seven's arm, relieved when Seven didn't flinch away, "You love her. I was a fool to think I could come between that. In fact, I was a downright ass to even try."

Seven just stared at Alex, more confusion coming into her eyes, causing her forehead to wrinkle in thought. "How do you know I love her? We have never discussed this."

Alex let out a bark of laughter. "I'd have to be blind not to see the love you have for her after all the time I've spent with you."

"How is it obvious?"

"Seven," Alex started, as if she surely must be joking with such a question, "whenever her name is mentioned your eyes light up. When she's in the room with you, you don't take your eyes off her unless you think she's going to catch you watching. Sometimes your eyes become wistful, other times your desire is palpable."

Alex tried to rein her laughter in as Seven's expression turned horrified. Alex patted her arm sympathetically.

"It's alright Seven, I seriously doubt anyone else would take the time to notice. I've spent a lot of time with you, I know you well."

Seven only looked slightly reassured but nodded her ascent and sighed. "However, you did not come between us, as you know there is no _us_ to come between." Seven suddenly became aware again of sitting on Alex's bed and what they had just been about to do. "I am sorry if I have hurt you," Seven said with genuine remorse this time.

Alex was one of the few people aboard Voyager Seven considered a real friend, someone she cared for deeply and the idea that she had hurt Alex in this way troubled Seven greatly.

Alex hooked two fingers under Seven's chin, bringing them eye to eye, "You haven't hurt me, I promise you that," she stated firmly, then looked away, letting go of Seven's chin. "I'm a big girl, Seven, I knew what I was doing. I led the way in this and when you responded, I kept going even though I knew it couldn't last. If anything I shouldn't have put either of us through this since I knew what the inevitable conclusion was going to be."

"I do love you," Seven stated.

Alex looked at her again and smiled, Seven could be so sweet. "I know you do, but not the way you love the Captain. You may love me as a friend, which I do treasure, but you are _in_ love with her and that is a big difference."

Seven nodded reluctantly, still afraid she might have hurt her friend but what Alex said made perfect sense. When they initially escalated their relationship to a physical one Seven enjoyed it, finding kissing a very pleasing activity and Alex a beautiful, intelligent woman. They got along well, had common interests and Alex accepted every part of Seven without fear or hesitation. Seven could see no reason why Alex would not make a perfect partner for her.

However, Alex wasn't Captain Janeway.

Alex noticed Seven was still slightly uncomfortable, not knowing what to say or do next. "It's okay Seven, let's just move past this. This doesn't have to interfere with our friendship," she explained, reaching over and giving Seven a quick hug.

"I am glad to hear that. I would not want this or anything else to damage our friendship," Seven responded, sounding slightly more at ease, her body language becoming more relaxed.

"Never," Alex vowed. "Now let's talk about you and the Captain. I should have talked with you about this long ago rather than letting my own selfish desires get in the way. Move to the living room?" Alex asked standing and offering her hand.

Seven accepted and they moved into the living area where Alex replicated a fruit juice for them both. She joined Seven who was seated on the couch. Seven sat ramrod straight with both feet on the floor while Alex took up a more comfortable position, one leg folded beneath her, the other on the floor, her body facing Seven.

Seven noticed Alex looking at her with an expression that signalled the blonde should begin talking. Seven sighed and said the only thing she could think to say, "As I said previously, there is no us to talk about where the Captain and I are concerned."

"Let's talk about that then. Why isn't there?"

"She does not love me," Seven stated, sounding dejected.

"I disagree. I think she's madly in love with you," Alex claimed as if it were fact.

Seven stared at Alex with confusion.

"You do not know the Captain well, how can you make such a claim?"

"Watching you around her, I naturally observed her as well. Believe me, she loves you."

Seven looked flabbergasted. Slowly that turned into anger. "You are mistaken," she told Alex icily. "I spent months before you came aboard considering this equation. It is not feasible that she would love me. I was Borg for 18 years; I assimilated millions, killed millions more and devastated planets. I am only grateful she kept me aboard Voyager and did not destroy me as I deserved."

Now Alex was pissed. "Goddamn it, Seven! Don't you dare talk about yourself as if you're a machine now! You were not responsible for those deaths or that destruction; you were only a child when you were assimilated for godsake! You are not Borg now! And quite frankly if the Captain can't see that she doesn't deserve you!" Alex finished, angry that Seven would still think of herself in those terms. Alex realized at some point she'd stood up during her little speech and was standing over Seven who now stared up at her in surprise. Alex sat back down next to her and with a sigh ran her hand through her long black hair.

"Seven, please don't think of your self in those terms. You are not that machine anymore; you are a human being, with feelings and a conscience. Even if you feel like you should take responsibility for something done _to _you, you shouldn't. Look at it logically," Alex tried, hoping to appeal to the analytical side of the young woman.

"You really think she loves me?" Seven asked after a few minutes of silence between them, now positioning herself on the couch facing Alex.

"I have no doubt. As I said before, just think about how she acts around you," Alex replied with a smile, relieved that Seven seemed to be letting go of her self-loathing thoughts. She watched silently while Seven worked through her own thoughts, imagining Seven recalling every exchange between herself and the Captain with precise accuracy.

"Very well, I have considered your words as well as Captain Janeway's personality and my interaction with her during the last four years. I cannot agree that she loves me, however, I do believe she does feel ... something for me," Seven concluded, sounding slightly unsure on the last few words. "If this is true though, why has Captain Janeway not said anything to me?"

This question reminded Alex that there were some things about emotions Seven still didn't quite understand. While Seven was much more savvy with human behaviour than most gave her credit for, she still had some things to learn, or more accurately just needed some things pointed out to her so she could see them clearly. After all when one was in love one rarely saw things clearly.

"My guess would be fear. You were afraid she would reject you, more than likely she holds the same fear. More than that, she's Captain of this ship and I know from reading about Starfleet, Captains are meant to keep a certain distance from their subordinates. Falling in love with one would certainly bridge that distance."

"Everyone is her subordinate. That is an illogical guideline to follow in this situation."

Alex laughed, "I agree fully."

"What do you suggest I do about this situation?"

"I suggest you take her."

"Take her? Explain."

Grinning at Seven, Alex chuckled, "You're _so_ cute when you do that."

Seven raised an eyebrow to her comment.

"Oh, that makes it all the more cute," Alex added.

"To what are you referring?" Seven asked, perplexed by Alex's comments.

"Never mind, if I tell you, you might stop doing it."

Seven raised her other eyebrow at this but acquiesced. "Very well. Now will you explain what you are referring to when you said I _should take her_?"

"Be the aggressor. Get her alone somewhere and don't let her have the time to hammer at you with all the excuses about why she can't do this."

Seven looked at Alex with disbelief. "You mean I should initiate a sexual encounter?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying."

"I do not believe I would know how to do such a thing. While I am extensively versed in the many ways of pleasing women, the probability of success in taking the Captain against her will is negligible."

Alex didn't register the last part of the sentence right away because she was too absorbed in thinking about the first part. When it finally did register she sputtered out, "I would never suggest doing that, Seven!"

"But..."

"We'll go to the holodeck tomorrow and I'll show you what I'm talking about. The Captain may resist at first, but the resistance will be half-hearted. She'll give into her emotions." Seven eyed her with disbelief as Alex endeavoured to explain further. "This is just a way of making her face her feelings without having anywhere to run to. Taking her out of her safe zone."

"I do not know that this is..."

Alex interrupted, "Wait to make a decision until after we've been to the holodeck okay?"

Seven hesitated for a moment before agreeing. "Very well, I will wait until after then to decide."

"Great," Alex smiled and then yawned before she could stop herself.

"You are tired, I should leave," Seven said, standing.

Alex checked the chronometer on the wall, 02:30 hours.

"I had no idea it was that late already," she absently commented.

"What time would you like to meet at the holodeck tomorrow?" Seven asked.

Alex stood up and stretched her long limbs, back cracking loudly as her spine aligned. "How about 1800? Is that long enough after your shift ends?"

"It is sufficient. I will see you then," Seven responded, turning to exit. Alex followed to see her out. Seven stopped as the doors were about to open and looked at Alex with an expression of regret. "Again, I am sorry about what transpired tonight..."

Alex stopped her with a wave of her hand. "No, don't, I told you it's okay, I meant it. We are fine and tomorrow I'm going to start helping you get the woman you're meant to be with."

"Thank you," Seven smiled, and then she was gone.

Alex thumped her body against the wall when Seven left and sighed. _What were you thinking! _While it was true she did have genuine feelings for Seven any fool could see that Seven and the Captain were meant to be together. The idea of them just fit. Alex pushed herself off the wall and over to the replicator where she replicated a tumbler of scotch as she often did before going to bed. Alex was almost too tired to bother but thought a drink might be just what she needed right now. Sipping it on the way to her bedroom she stopped and stared at the rumpled sheets. An image of Seven lying with her blonde hair flowing over the pillow sprang into Alex's mind and she immediately chased it away. She had to start moving on from those desires now. She valued Seven's friendship too much to let this interfere, in time she'd get over it. Ten minutes later Alex crawled into bed thinking of what program to use to illustrate to Seven exactly what she meant by "taking the Captain".

Kathryn tried to open her eyes when she thought she heard the familiar hum of a transporter, but immediately shut them again as harsh light caused a sharp pain to sear through her skull. She groaned pathetically in protest at both the light and the throbbing in her head. Slowly the events of last night began to permeate her brain and she groaned again, this time in anguish at the searing image of Alex kissing Seven. The rest was coming back as well, coming back to her quarters, logging herself off duty for the next shift, practically destroying the living room and finally, falling into bed naked.

Logging herself off duty...something was nagging at her about that, but she... _Oh god, _she suddenly thought, remembering the sound that had woken her, _I forgot to log myself off duty! _Sitting bolt upright in bed, cursing at the pain the sudden action caused, she fell back onto the bed.

"Shall I call for the Doctor?" dry tones inquired from her bedroom doorway.

"Oh god," Janeway groaned, one eye peeking open and seeing her Chief of Security standing there. "Oh god," she groaned again pulling the covers over her head.

"Indeed," Tuvok simply commented, making Kathryn wish she could just disappear into the mattress. This wasn't happening to her. She was a decorated Starfleet Captain for godsake!

"I attempted to contact you via your combadge but received no response." The Captain still didn't move. "As much as I am sure you would like to remain under your sheets, I will have to ask you accompany me to sickbay."

Janeway popped her head out, still grasping the sheets and regarded Tuvok with as much dignity as she could summon. "I am not injured. Maybe not feeling the greatest I ever have," she added sarcastically," but I am not going to sickbay!"

"That is imprecise, you are injured," Tuvok told her, inclining his head toward one of her legs, which was sticking out of the sheet.

Propping herself up on her elbows with only minimal protest from her head, her eyes widened with surprise when she looked at her leg. There was a deep gash in her right calf about three inches long with dried blood surrounding it. More blood left a small trail down the remainder of her leg, as well as on the bed.

_When the hell did that happen! _Her mind rallied at her. She fought the urge to sigh in disgust with herself since Tuvok was present. Tuvok. What the hell was she going to tell him? In frustration she ran a hand through her hair and flopped back down on the mattress. _Okay, I need to get up, take a shower, have a coffee, try to make myself look like the Captain again and then deal with Tuvok. _

Kathryn sat up slowly this time and found she could manage that without her head protesting too much. She looked past Tuvok into her living room and couldn't stop herself from shutting her eyes in disgust at the destruction she saw there. That was going to be much more difficult to explain to Tuvok. Maybe she was losing her mind. Maybe her nightmares were just a symptom of her madness.

"Tuvok, I..." she was cut off abruptly as the ship careened hard to the left, sending her tumbling out of bed and Tuvok bracing himself against the doorway. Simultaneously, the lights in her quarters changed to a pulsing red and over the com system, "Red Alert! All hands to battle stations! Captain to the bridge!"

The Captain waited for the next impact to come but it didn't. Tuvok was now at her side assisting her to stand. She was unhurt and back into full Captain mode. Personal demons were discarded as she rushed into her bathroom, dropping the sheet wrapped around her naked body and stepping into the sonic shower. This was not normally a stop off Janeway would make during a red alert, but she stank of alcohol and that was not something she could simply ignore. The sonic shower only lasted thirty seconds, quick and efficient. It disintegrated any traces of the dried blood on her leg, but there was still a nasty looking gash there she would have to remember to get treated. Janeway walked to her replicator and demanded a fresh uniform. For a brief moment Janeway remembered she was naked and not alone, but upon glancing around Tuvok was nowhere to be seen. Either he had raced to the bridge or was giving her privacy.

Janeway's head pounded and on occasion she felt as if she might vomit, thankfully she had a hypospray stashed in her bedside table for just this thing. Janeway pulled it out and with a soft hiss injected it into her system. Almost immediately she felt the effects. Her head still ached slightly, but it was only a minor headache and one that in another fifteen minutes would be gone altogether. Her balance was regained and all trace of nausea was gone. _The best antidote ever invented _Janeway thought to herself.

Dressing quickly Janeway snatched her phaser from its storage place, securing it to her hip and walked into the disaster zone she had caused the previous night. Janeway gave it only a cursory glance, not having the time to think about it now. Suddenly Tuvok was at her side and she looked up at him with surprise.

"I would have thought you'd be on the bridge by now," she commented dryly.

"I thought it prudent to make certain the Captain would be able to get there as well," he replied, raising one eyebrow.

"The Captain is fine now," she remarked, gazing at him steadily. Janeway wanted no doubt in his mind that she was perfectly fit to command.

The ship lurched violently again, both maintained their equilibrium and exited the Captain's quarters, racing down the corridor to the turbolift that would take them to the bridge. Whatever Tuvok had to say to her would have to wait, as long as he was confident in her command ability that was all Janeway cared about. His silence was confirmation that he was.

"Report!" Janeway barked, slapping her combadge once inside the turbolift. They would arrive in a matter of seconds, but Janeway wanted answers now.

"We're trapped in some type of spatial wave, Captain," Chakotay answered as the turbolift arrived, depositing its passengers onto the bridge. Tuvok quickly took his position at tactical while Janeway walked down to the lower area of the bridge.

"Could we be more specific?" the Captain asked through gritted teeth as the ship rocked again and she all but fell into her command chair.

"Shields down to 80," Tuvok reported calmly.

"Tom, can you get us out of this?"

"No, ma'am. As soon as the wave enveloped us warp engines went off line and impulse engines are not responding."

"Harry?"

"I've never seen a wave like this, Captain. We have nothing like it on record but it does have a temporal signature."

"Temporal?"

"Yes, Captain and a large portion of energy is starting to build up in," Harry was cut off.

"Seven of Nine to the bridge."

As soon as Janeway heard Seven's voice she couldn't help but think for a minute of what activities had undoubtedly taken place last night between Seven and Alex. Janeway squashed the thoughts forcefully.

"Go ahead, Seven," the Captain responded as another shudder went through the ship.

"A large energy distortion forming in Astrometrics is generating some type of..."

The Captain could hear hesitation in the young woman's voice and Janeway was now completely intrigued. "Generating what Seven?"

"Portal."

"Portal?" Janeway repeated, a small frown forming on her lips, "What do you mean?"

"I am unsure how else to describe it. I am attempting to scan it now."

Only thirty seconds passed before Seven reported her findings, but Janeway was sure it was the longest thirty seconds of her life.

"Initial scans indicate the portal leads to Earth."

"Earth!" echoing Seven, but much more loudly. The rest of the bridge crew all turned to look at her with disbelief.

"Captain, additional scans indicate early twenty first century Earth."

Everyone on the bridge seemed to immediately understand the implication.

"I'm on my way," Janeway informed her, closing the communications channel. "Commander, you have the bridge." After the turbolift doors closed behind her and Janeway instructed it to take her to deck six, she slapped the combadge attached to her uniform.

"Janeway to Alexandra Benson!"

When Janeway received no answer she inquired to the computer as to the woman's whereabouts.

"Alexandra Benson is exiting turbolift four on deck six."

As the computer finished speaking Janeway's own turbolift opened and she stepped out. Sure enough Alex was walking the opposite direction down the corridor heading for Astrometrics. Seven had obviously taken it upon herself to inform her lover about the phenomenon. The corridor intersected and the two women were soon walking together.

"Seven has informed you of what is going on I assume?" Janeway asked her, watching Alex out of the corner of her eye. It was obvious Alex was deep in thought, her brow furrowed.

Alex shook her head in the affirmative while quietly saying, "She has."

They arrived at Astrometrics, both only taking a few steps before stopping and looking in awe at what Seven had termed "the portal". White and blue energy flashed erratically at the top bulkhead of Astrometrics near the view screen. Sounds reminiscent of electrical storms resonated loudly in the room. In the middle of the charged energy eruption was the eye of the storm, calm, peaceful and beautiful. It showed a vista of green grass and blue skies and Janeway could swear she almost smelled the fresh Earth air. The Captain had to remind herself this wasn't really her Earth, or at least not in the time period she needed it to be. Briefly she wondered what would happen if she were to step through the portal, if perhaps her entire crew were to step through the portal. They'd be back on Earth, maybe not in their time period, but it would be Earth.

_It wouldn't be home Katie._ No, it wouldn't be. It would look like home, smell like home, but there would be nothing there neither she nor her crew would know. Turning from the visage she looked at Alex and found Alex looking at Seven, both with tears in their eyes. The only other time Janeway had seen Seven get emotional was when Seven had to say goodbye to the Borg children. Suddenly Janeway felt as if she shouldn't be there, as if she were spying on two lovers who were being torn apart by fate.

The console in front of Seven started beeping a warning and Seven looked away from Alex to check it. "The portal is beginning to destabilize! You must go now!"

Janeway watched as Alex looked away from Seven in anguish and took a step toward the portal. Janeway couldn't say she would be sorry to see Alex leave, but she was sorry for the emotional pain this was going to cause Seven. Alex took another step and then stopped.

"Alex, you must go now! It will only be stable for another sixty seconds!" Seven shouted.

Alex turned around and looked at Seven. "No." She didn't say it loud enough to be heard over the noise in the room, but both Janeway and Seven could read the words on her lips.

No one in the room moved. Alex kept looking between Seven and Janeway, finally settling onto the Captain.

"Permission to stay aboard, Captain?" Alex yelled, searching Janeway's face for any sign of what her response would be.

Janeway let her command training take full control, her expression devoid of emotion, unreadable. Inside she was experiencing extreme emotional turmoil. Her and Alex had discussed very briefly in the beginning what Alex would do if this possibility presented itself. Alex had told her then she didn't know what she would do, that it would depend how long she had been aboard Voyager and what events transpired during that time. Janeway in turn told Alex going back might result in severe consequences for the time line that currently existed and that if Alex chose to stay it might be the better choice for everyone. However that had been before Seven's involvement with Alex and now Janeway found herself torn. If she granted Alex's request, she would be forced to witness Seven with another woman, watch Seven grow further away from her and into the arms of another. Janeway briefly glanced at Seven whose expression was one of total surprise. _Really Seven, you shouldn't be so surprised, who in their right mind would give you up?_ Janeway thought to herself. She scoffed, knowing she had done just that. Her decision was made though; Janeway would do anything to prevent Seven from experiencing any type of pain, even if it meant hers would be unbearable.

"Thirty seconds!" Seven shouted, straining to be heard over the static crackling around them.

"Permission granted," Janeway yelled over the noise.

Alex smiled widely at her words, conveying her thanks. Seven was quite clearly torn between conflicting emotions. She was fighting the smile that was starting to form on her lips while staring at Alex in confusion. They too had discussed this possibility, but Alex had never been able to come to a decision on what her choice would be. She told Seven that she worked best under pressure and would make her decision in the heat of the moment if the opportunity were ever there.

"You may never have another chance to go home, Alex!" Seven implored.

"I am home!"

Janeway noticed the lights start to flash across Seven's console. Seven glanced at the readouts and looked back up at Alex with fear. "Get away from the portal! It is..."

A deafening shriek filled the air around them cutting off the rest of Seven's sentence. The portal behind Alex exploded suddenly, causing a blinding explosion of electricity. The electrical discharge slammed into Alex from behind sending her careening across the room. Her body flew over Seven's head and landed with a thud that went unheard over the noise in the room. The other two women struggled to maintain their balance from the small shock wave that reverberated across the room. Unbelievably the explosion suddenly imploded, seemingly being sucked into nothing, leaving the room as though it had never existed. Both women looked at each other to ascertain if each was all right, then both rushed to Alex's side.

Alex was lying face down on the deck, her sleek black hair covering her face. Seven gently moved it out of the way and felt for a pulse while Janeway ordered the Doctor to Astrometrics over her combadage only saying that his presence was required immediately in Astrometrics for a medical emergency.

"She is alive," Seven breathed out quietly, the Captain easily able to hear her now in the sudden eerie quiet of the room.

The Doctor materialized into the room and dropped down with a medical tricorder beside Alex. "She's alive," he muttered, not knowing Seven had uttered the same words only moments before. "I need to get her to sickbay now."

Janeway was already instructing the computer to perform a site to site transport to sickbay before the Doctor finished his sentence. Seven helped the Doctor gently lift Alex onto a biobed. They laid her face down so the Doctor could quickly begin treating the burns covering her back, the back of her shirt having been singed completely off.

"What happened to her!" the Doctor demanded as he began running a dermal regenerator over her skin.

"That would take a bit to explain. I'll brief the senior staff on the incident in a few hours. Is she going to be okay?" Janeway asked.

"Well, besides these electrical burns to half her body, a punctured lung, ruptured spleen and four broken ribs she'll be fine," the Doctor answered with his trademark sarcasm.

"Now is _not_ the time, Doctor," Janeway informed him, her voice dangerously low leaving no doubt that she was clearly not impressed with the way he had told them of Alex's injuries.

"She'll be fine once I'm done treating her. She'll need to stay in sickbay the rest of the day and tonight for observation but there's no reason she won't make a full recovery," he explained in a much more professional tone.

Janeway gave a short nod of her head, actually relieved to hear it. She may have her own personal problems with Alex, but in no way did she wish the woman dead. There was also the matter of Seven. The young blonde looked incredibly pale. She was standing on the opposite side of Alex's bed to Janeway watching the Doctor treating the brunette. Janeway moved over next to Seven and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright, Seven?" her voice dropping the commanding tone she had been using.

"I am undamaged," was all Seven replied, still staring at Alex's broken body.

Janeway wanted to do more, to say more, but she had duties to perform as Captain. She had to learn the extent of damage to the ship from all that shaking around they had taken in the beginning and she had to at least let the bridge know they were okay. Janeway didn't know how welcome she would be if she offered to stay with Seven anyway. Wouldn't that look rather odd, her staying with the woman while she held vigil at her lover's bedside?

"If you need anything, I'll be on the bridge," the Captain said quietly. Janeway noticed she'd been rubbing small circles on Seven's back where her hand rested and quickly removed it. "Doctor, give me a progress report in an hour," she instructed as she turned to leave sickbay.

"Of course, Captain," he answered, not looking up from tending Alex.

Five days later Captain Kathryn Janeway again found herself in front of her mirror preparing to visit holodeck one for a party. Tom brought the idea to her two days ago, a way to celebrate Alex staying on board as well as her recovery from the blast. Janeway begrudgingly agreed to it, not able to think of any good reason why the crew shouldn't celebrate. She didn't really want to attend. The thought of seeing Alex and Seven together as a couple was not a sight Janeway looked forward to, but one she knew she would have to get used to. The Captain had spoken to Alex a few times over the last five days. Mainly just to establish Alex was going to be okay and that the woman was happy with the choice she made, not that anything could be done if Alex hadn't been. Then at Lieutenant Commander Tuvok's urging, Janeway approached Alex about a position with Voyager's security department. Janeway had been shocked to say the least, after all Alex had only been on board for two months, but Janeway trusted Tuvok's judgment implicitly. There had never been civilian security personnel allowed on a Federation Starship before but they recently lost five security officers on an away mission and Tuvok coolly pointed out Alex more than met the qualifications. Tuvok was sure that given a few weeks Alex would probably request to join Starfleet. Not able to fight the Vulcan's logic Janeway gave Tuvok the go ahead with the understanding that he would be personally responsible for training and supervising Alex.

Janeway exited her quarters and made her way to the holodeck, it was the same recreation program as last time and like last time Janeway headed for the bar. Tom was not there to greet her this time. He, along with the rest of the senior staff was gathered around Alex and Seven. The two were dressed in the same clothes they had worn last time and she groaned aloud at the idea she was probably going to again witness their dancing. Janeway wasn't quite sure she could take that again and demanded a double whiskey from the bartender. If she had have been able to come up with a reasonable excuse not to join her crew in the celebrations she would have, but Janeway thought it might look a little odd if she didn't. Next rumours would be starting on the lower decks that she hadn't attended because she didn't like Alex and she didn't need someone like Tom Paris asking her if it was really true or not. Her dislike for the brunette was totally irrational, yet Janeway couldn't move past it. It didn't help that last night she'd had a nightmare again, this time Alex had played a large part in it.

Janeway sipped her drink slowly this time; she didn't need a repeat with her Chief of Security transporting into her quarters announced. Thankfully he never brought up that morning to her again; apparently content to let it slip by without needing to discuss it.

Janeway watched Seven as she talked and smiled with the rest of the crew. She had to admit Seven acted a lot more comfortable now in social situations than she ever had before and Janeway knew it was Alex's influence. Seven looked exquisitely beautiful in her white body hugging dress, the front of it plunging down to her navel and in doing so displaying a large amount of soft skin to anyone who cared to look. And the Captain cared to look, to touch, to kiss, to lick, to... _stop it Katie! She's not yours, nor will she ever be. You didn't even have the courage to fight for her! _Janeway slammed her empty glass onto the bar, the few drops of remaining alcohol splashing over the side of the glass and dripping onto her fingers.

At that moment Seven chose to look up from speaking with B'Elanna and made eye contact with the Captain. The young woman smiled gently at her and Janeway felt her heart pick up speed. She grinned back, wondering if Seven could see the desire in her eyes. They stared at each other for what seemed a lifetime until a song with a sexy beat started playing and Alex spun Seven around, guiding her to the dance floor.

"No, not again, I can't take this," Janeway whispered to herself. There was no way she could sit and watch them be so intimate with each other. She got to her feet and quickly left the holodeck before anyone could stop and ask her why she was leaving so soon. If anyone had even noticed she was there. Janeway didn't really care anyway. She didn't feel like going back to her quarters, so she entered the turbolift and made her way to her second home, her ready room. Janeway had a date there with a bottle of whiskey.

Seven turned back to look at the Captain again in time to see her leaving the holodeck. She stopped in her tracks, causing Alex to stop walking them out to the dance floor.

"Seven?"

"The Captain has left," her voice confused.

"Maybe she forgot something," Alex reasoned with a shrug of her shoulders.

"No, something is wrong," Seven stated, sure of herself, "I must go see her."

Alex let go of Seven's arm and thumped her soundly on the back, "Go get her, tiger!"

Seven raised her eyebrow, "Alexandra, you are drunk. I will escort you back to your quarters and then go see the Captain."

Alex laughed, "I'll admit I'm feeling pretty good, but I'm not ready to leave the party yet. I still want to dance! Don't worry about me, Seven, go see the Captain." Alex started walking towards Ensign Tal Celes but stopped half way, "Oh and Seven, I'm sorry we never got to the holodeck, you'll just have to wing it," she added, winking and sauntering over to the unsuspecting Ensign.

It took Seven a few seconds to realize what Alex was referring to, but when she did she nearly blushed at the implication. She was only going to talk to the Captain. She was concerned for her. Seven noticed the dark circles under the woman's eyes and suspected she was consuming alcohol in her quarters and in her ready room at regular intervals. Of course the Captain didn't know Seven suspected this, but when Seven would be granted permission to visit the older woman in her quarters or went to see her after hours in her ready room, Seven could smell it on the Captain and she had seen her consuming some again just now.

Seven arranged for B'Elanna and Tom to make sure Alex got back to her quarters safely and then exited the holodeck, making her way to the Captain's quarters. She pushed for admittance three times upon arrival and when she received no response she became concerned.

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

"Captain Janeway is in her ready room."

Seven let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding relieved none of the scenarios she had briefly entertained were correct. She returned to the turbolift at the end of the corridor and instructed it to take her to the bridge.

Ensign White was sitting in the Captain's chair looking entirely out of her league when Seven arrived on the bridge. Nodding at the young woman Seven made her way to the Captain's ready room. Ensign White jumped up from her chair.

"The Captain left specific instructions not to be disturbed unless it's a red alert," White informed Seven.

Seven mulled this over for 1.3 seconds, deciding it was indeed time for someone to disturb the Captain. Ignoring Ensign White she chimed for admittance. Seven waited twenty seconds while Ensign White watched her nervously and then she chimed again. Still nothing. Now Seven was growing highly agitated.

Ensign White stepped toward her, "I told you she doesn't want to be disturbed." The young woman tried to sound commanding, but fell considerably short. Seven turned to her, locking her with a penetrating Borg gaze.

"Do you plan on stopping me?"

Ensign White went pale and gulped.

"I thought not." Turning back to the door Seven instructed the computer to override the seal on the doors, reciting a Borg decryption code. The doors parted easily and Seven strode confidently into the Captain's domain. Once the doors closed behind her Seven resealed them with a Borg encryption code.

Janeway bolted up from her chair, nearly knocking over the bottle of whiskey in the process. "What the hell do you think you're doing!" she shouted at Seven, her indignation clear. She was also extremely aroused seeing Seven in her ready room in that dress with her hair down. Janeway fought her growing arousal by grabbing onto her anger with both hands.

"Answer me!" Janeway demanded, her fists pressing onto her desk, knuckles white with anger.

Seven merely raised her eyebrow and responded, "You left the party."

Janeway snorted, "I'm surprised you noticed with that raven haired beauty wrapped around you."

"I was concerned," Seven stated, ignoring Janeway's quip.

"You needn't be. I'm a perfectly big girl who can take care of herself." Janeway sarcastically retorted.

Janeway watched as Seven's eyes moved to the bottle of whiskey and looked at it disdainfully.

"Indeed," Seven responded.

"And just what the hell does that mean!" Janeway yelled, louder than before and straightening up to her full height. "Don't you dare barge in here and presume to judge me! Now get the hell out!"

Seven didn't move. Standing perfectly straight, hands clasped behind her back, her dress falling provocatively across her breasts.

Janeway's voice now took on a deadly register as she levelled a force ten glare at Seven, "I said, _get out._"

"I will not comply." Seven's tone left no room for argument. She was not moving. And "the glare" did not intimidate her, if anything it further stirred the acute arousal in her she had been aware of since the Captain stood up from behind her desk.

Seven watched impassively as Captain Janeway stalked slowly around her desk and stood directly in front of her. Janeway was dressed in a dark blue silk dress that clung to her hips and breasts sensuously. Seven felt her stomach clench in anticipation of having the shorter woman standing in front of her. The older woman's irrational anger had always aroused her in a way that was entirely illogical. The light scent the Captain wore drifted into her nostrils and she unconsciously breathed it in deeply causing her chest to rise with the intake of air.

Janeway watched the chest as it rose; she was bristling with barely contained rage and lust, her own chest heaving slightly from breathing heavily as she tried to control both. Janeway was only a few inches from Seven and belatedly thought that maybe it wasn't a good idea to get this close. The Captain was having a hard time concentrating on her anger. She moved her head to look at the woman above her, but Seven was looking straight ahead at the wall in front of her. Janeway had to get Seven out of her ready room before she did something she wouldn't be able to undo.

"Get the hell out of here before I call security and have you removed to the brig!"

Seven felt the older woman's breath caress her cheek.

"Then that is what you will have to do," Seven retorted defiantly, now locking eyes with the Captain.

Janeway moved her right arm up to reach for her combadge. As she was about to touch it Seven reached for Janeway's arm with her Borg enhanced left hand grabbing it. Seven spun the arm around, twisting it behind the Captain's back. Not hard enough to hurt the woman, but secure enough that Janeway understood she could not free it. At the same time Seven's fully human arm came around the left side of Janeway's body grabbing her, pushing her body firmly into the blonde's. Janeway gasped and choked on a moan that tried to betray her.

"Seven! What a..."

Her words were cut off as Seven lowered her head melding their mouths together forcefully. The young woman's tongue aggressively pushed passed the Captain's lips and into her mouth, sliding against the older woman's tongue. This time Janeway couldn't stifle the moan that issued from her throat. Seven absorbed it greedily, revelling in it, letting it fuel her sudden raging desire for this woman who so easily infuriated and aroused her at the same time.

Janeway's head was spinning as she felt Seven's tongue caress her own. This was not what she'd expected when Seven entered her ready room. What the hell was Seven doing anyway? She was involved with Alex! With great effort she tore her mouth away from Seven's full lips and opened her eyes to look at her. Gasping for the second time in as many minutes, when she looked into the younger woman's eyes. They were filled with desire, longing, lust and love; emotions Janeway ached to see directed at her, but ones she'd given up hope on. Now visible, they were staring at her, raw and wanting.

Seven seemed to read her previous thoughts by saying softly, "There is only you."

Then Seven was covering Janeway's mouth with those preciously soft lips again. The Captain made to protest once more, but Seven brought her right arm from around the other woman and pinched Janeway's nipple roughly causing the protest to die in her throat and a moan to expel from her instead. Seven broke their kiss, releasing Janeway's arm from behind her back. Seven didn't let go of it, instead bringing the Captain's slender fingers up to her mouth and sucking them between her lips one by one while looking deeply into the Captain's hooded eyes. A breath of air rushed from Janeway's mouth and within it Seven could faintly hear the words "Oh my god."

Seven smiled seductively at her, "Whiskey." She remarked simply before taking one final lick at her fingers and slinging the arm around her neck. Janeway's knees were nearly buckling. Seven, seeming to sense this, reached down with both hands, grasping the woman under her buttocks and lifting her. Janeway instinctively wrapped her legs around the younger woman's waist, causing her dress to ride up her thighs. Both Janeway's arms held on securely around Seven's neck, fingers running into long blonde hair. Janeway was sure there were further protests she should be making, but her mind was blank except for her feelings for this beautiful, erotic woman who surrounded her.

Seven took only a few steps forward before her legs ran into the Captain's desk. Supporting Janeway with her left hand, she reached out with her right and shoved the desk's contents onto the floor. Seven set Janeway on the now empty surface and pushed her backward, intending to lay her out on the surface. Janeway didn't unlock her legs from around Seven and the younger woman moved forward with the momentum, falling atop the smaller woman. The Captain quickly captured the ex-Borg's lips with her own this time; her tongue shoving inside the woman's mouth which Seven sucked erotically as soon as it entered.

Seven hadn't intended for things to go this far, she only wanted to show the Captain she loved and desired her, but now she couldn't stop herself. Her emotions were raging out of control! Seven was working from pure instinct, feeling more primal than she knew was possible, all her thoughts focused on the woman trapped beneath her. The ways to pleasure her, to make her moan and scream out her name. The ways to make Captain Janeway hers.

Seven groaned into the Captain's mouth when Janeway adjusted her legs, wrapping them tighter around her torso, pulling Seven further into her. She could feel the heat radiating from Janeway and wondered if she were wearing panties. Always in a quest for knowledge Seven trailed her right hand down Janeway's side, running it up the outside of Janeway's raised thigh and back down the inside. She stopped when her fingers brushed lightly against the coarse hair of the Captain's center. Seven growled aloud with the knowledge Janeway was not wearing any.

Janeway had felt the feather light touch of Seven's fingers and arched into it, trying to connect with them, but Seven pulled her hand away and gripped the Captain's waist with both hands, pushing her back down to the black glass surface of the desk. Then Seven slid both her hands up Janeway's sides to her shoulders where she grabbed the straps of Janeway's dress and pulled down roughly, both breasts bouncing free. Before Janeway finished groaning her encouragement for that move, Seven moved her lips away from their kiss and attached them to Janeway's left nipple which caused an even louder groan to issue forth from the petite auburn woman. Seven held the erect nipple between her teeth and flicked it quickly with her tongue while her other hand squeezed the Captain's right breast. Janeway was running her hands up and down the blondes back in silent encouragement while her hips again rose, seeking the contact of Seven's body. While Seven's right hand was busy with Janeway's breast her left was under the woman's ass, grabbing one of the cheeks and pushing her stomach against the woman's heat.

"Oh god, yes Seven," Janeway moaned out beneath her. Her voice sounded thick and husky, snapping the last shred of patience Seven had left. She had wanted to spend more time worshipping the Captain's soft, perfect breasts, but after hearing the older woman moan her name with that incredibly smoky voice all she could think about was what Janeway would taste like.

Seven moved down the writhing Captain's body, flicking her tongue against the soft skin between her breasts, down further until she encountered the dress that was bunched up at the Captain's waist. Seeing it as the only barrier left between her and a naked Captain, she used her Borg enhanced strength and ripped it of her. Once the impeding garment was removed she continued to kiss her way down Janeway's lean stomach.

An exhilarating gasp of delight escaped Janeway's lips as Seven tore the dress from her body. She was burning for this woman and whatever Seven wanted to do, she had Janeway's blessing. As Seven continued to kiss and lick down her body the warmth of her came away from Janeway and she felt the cool air against her heated core. She knew she was wet, but she suddenly felt as if she must literally be dripping as Seven's descending mouth made it closer and closer to her heat. Janeway could barely stand the anticipation and wanted to yell for Seven to just do it.

Seven finally arrived at her destination and breathed the musky, intoxicating scent of her Captain in deeply. She raised her fingers and using only two of them parted the outer lips gently so she could further look at her Captain. She groaned aloud at the glistening wetness she saw there and glanced back up towards Janeway's head. Janeway had been trying to look down at her and their eyes locked. Seven moaned softly this time at the raw desire she saw in Janeway's smoky blue eyes and at the utterly vulnerable position the older woman was in. Seven took both Janeway's legs in her hands and put them over her shoulders, sliding her hands down the smooth legs and securing them under Janeway's buttocks where she grasped her firmly, holding her where she wanted her. Then without further preamble Seven lowered her head and pushed her tongue into the Captain's soaking crease.

Janeway shuddered and screamed out Seven's name as the blonde's tongue felt its way within her most intimate area. She threw her head from side to side chanting "Oh, Seven," like a prayer, her hands pushing against the back of Seven's head forcefully.

Seven drowned in the taste of the Captain, licking with long, sure swipes of her tongue. She marvelled at how soft and delicate this area was as she plunged her tongue as far as it would go into Janeway's opening, causing the woman to again scream out her name and a new flood of moisture to come forth. Seven clamped her lips around as much of the area as she could and sucked, her long tongue moving in and out of the Captain.

Janeway was panting and bucking her hips now, unable to control any movement her body made. Not even caring to if she could. Seven had complete control over every part of her mind and body right now. The one thing she did seem to be able to operate was her voice, although sporadically, and as Seven moved her mouth to cover her clit and her tongue to lash at the hard nub she yelled out hoarsely, "Oh god, yes Seven! Fuck me!"

Seven was inflamed. Hearing the vulgar word spill from her Captain's mouth sent her into over-drive. She had no idea that making love could cause one to lose such complete control. She wanted more from this woman, she wanted to stare into her eyes as she climaxed, and she wanted Janeway to know without doubt, that she was hers now.

Before she even finished her thought though she heard the Captain's breath catch and her body rose off the desk, her muscles going taunt and a guttural cry tore from Janeway's throat as she screamed Seven's name as she came. After a few moments her body fell limply to the desk. Seven was not about to let her rest just yet however.

Seven quickly moved up the Captain's body until she was looking down into the woman's face. Janeway had her eyes closed, a small grin gracing her classic beauty. She moved her head toward Seven and before she could open her eyes, Seven moved her right hand to the woman's center and entered her swiftly with two fingers, plunging inside her wetness as far as she could go.

Janeway's eyes flew open in surprise at the sudden intrusion, locking onto Seven's and she groaned at the raw lust she saw there. Unbelievably her body started rocking in time to the motion of Seven's fingers moving in and out of her. Multiple orgasms were not something she normally was capable of, but she had the distinct feeling that her body would come as many times as Seven demanded it to. Janeway moaned, closing her eyes, absorbing the feeling of Seven now lying on top of her while making love to her. She felt Seven's hand on her cheek and opened her eyes.

"You will look at me when you come." Was all she said to Janeway, the Captain nodded her head and gulped at the low timbre of the woman's voice. She had no idea Seven's voice even went that low.

Seven felt the Captain wrap her legs around her torso again, felt the muscular thighs squeeze against her and as she pushed her fingers in and out of the woman she thought this was the most perfect moment in her existence. Seven relished the feel of the Captain's hot, wet flesh surrounding her fingers, pulling her in as deep as she could go. It was causing her to become more and more aware of the wetness between her own legs, as well as the incessant throbbing of her clit. She kept eye contact with the bucking woman as she moved her thumb to rub against her clit. She saw the Captain's pupils dilate further and heard her breathing become harsher. Seven watched avidly as she pleasured Janeway, watched the many emotions swirl within her blue depths and knew she was totally loved and trusted by this petite redhead.

Janeway's thrusting hips started to become more pronounced as Seven rubbed more firmly on her clit. Seven felt the older woman's hot walls start to tremble around her fingers and quickly pulled out. Janeway nearly screamed in frustration, but before she could think about it for more than a second, Seven plunged her fingers back inside her, a third one added this time. Her appreciation was torn from her vocal cords in the words of, "Fuck me, Seven! Fuck me!"

Seven nearly came herself hearing those words while being inside the woman and staring into her eyes. She flicked her thumb even faster against Janeway's clit and as soon as she felt her fingers starting to be squeezed again she said, "You are mine, Captain Kathryn Janeway."

Janeway climaxed with a loud scream, fighting to keep her eyes open as the orgasm crashed through her body, her arms and legs squeezing Seven as close as they could get her while her internal muscles contracted violently around young woman's fingers. As the last shudders reverberated through her body, she could no longer keep her eyes open and they slowly shut in sweet surrender to the satisfied lethargy she felt sweep over her body. She felt completely drained, but in the most revered kind of way. It vaguely entered her mind that she was naked on her ready room desk, completely vulnerable to anything and anyone, but even that didn't bother her as Seven's lips came down to capture hers in a gentle kiss. With Seven she felt safe and protected from any threat that might exist. This beautiful, young woman made her feel like something that was beyond words.

Seven felt what could only be described as a smirk, form on her lips. A cocky smirk, she had "taken" the Captain. With her lips still gently brushing Janeway's, the older woman felt the upward curl of her lips and opened her eyes. Uncurling her arms from around Seven's back she brought her hands down to take Seven's face between them and lifted upward so she could look at the woman.

"Oh, you're in so much trouble, young lady," Janeway commented upon seeing the smirk.

Seven rose off Janeway suddenly at the words, her smirk vanishing when for a split second she thought she really was in trouble. Then the timber of Janeway's voice registered with her. The low, husky, sensual sound caressing her body, making her head swim.

Seven took a step back as the Captain gracefully sat up on the desk, her eyes hooded and dark, devouring the sight of the former Borg standing in front of her. Seven watched Janeway slide off the desk, her breasts bouncing once as her feet hit the ground. She thought what it would be like to have one inside her mouth again and licked her lips unconsciously.

The sight of the pink tongue ignited Janeway further. She felt her desire rise within her, recognizing it for the long-denied hunger it was. Seven had certainly sated the older woman's own needs, but her need to pleasure Seven was now all-consuming. Janeway had dreamed for years of touching this woman and like Seven before her, she felt the primal urge to do so driving her.

Janeway advanced on Seven, a slow, wicked grin forming on her lips when Seven gulped and actually took a few steps backward.

Seven felt as if she were prey being stalked by a merciless predator. She shivered in anticipation, marvelling briefly at how the much smaller woman could still radiate such presence and authority, even when naked. Her heel hit the back of one of the steps leading up to the elevated level of the ready room and swallowed convulsively as Janeway continued advancing, now standing only a breath away.

"This just won't do," Janeway said, motioning her hand to the dress that Seven was still fully clothed in.

Seven only stared back at her. She did not think Janeway required a response.

Janeway didn't. She reached out with both hands and grasped the two thin straps holding the dress to the woman's lithe body. Slowly she lowered them both, devouring Seven with her eyes as each new expanse of creamy white skin was revealed to her.

Seven thought she would feel self-conscious about her Borg implants, harbouring the fear that the Captain might find them repulsive, but the desire and hunger she saw in Janeway's eyes negated her fear.

Janeway groaned quietly as she pulled the dress down further and Seven's perfectly formed breasts were revealed to her eyes. The areolas were a dark pink and the nipples an even darker shade as they stood erect with arousal. She resisted the urge to take one into her mouth, continuing to slowly bring the dress down, starting to crouch lower as she went. When the silver bands of Seven's more intrusive abdominal implant were revealed to her eyes the only thought entering her mind was how they added an exotic beauty to an already painfully beautiful woman. Finally lowering the dress off Seven's slim hips, she bit back the "oh, god" forming in her throat as a darker patch of blonde hair was revealed. Janeway let the dress drop the rest of the way to the floor, fighting the urge to bury her face into Seven's center. Instead she breathed deeply the scent of the woman's arousal. As Janeway did so she tipped her head back in ecstasy at the scent, her eyes closed and her seductive grin returned. Opening her eyes slowly she saw Seven staring at her. The young woman's blonde hair was tousled and falling about her face and shoulders. Her icy blue eyes were anything but, Janeway almost feeling the burning need projecting from them.

"Beautiful," Janeway's voice smoky and thick.

Seven smiled the first, full smile she had ever given the Captain and Janeway knew at that moment she would do anything to keep seeing that smile directed at her.

Janeway stood quickly, knowing she was going to lose what little control she had left very soon.

"Up the stairs," sounding like a command, but her voice was husky.

Seven complied. She didn't take her eyes off Janeway, but slowly backed up the two steps. Janeway kept taking steps towards her, making her back up further until the back of her legs connected with the lounge.

"I've waited years for this moment," Janeway whispered.

Before Seven could form a response, Janeway reached up behind Seven's head and pulled the young woman's lips to her own. Janeway's control was gone, receding into the back of her mind with each caress of her tongue against Seven's. Her hands slipped down the ex-Borg's back to her buttocks where she squeezed them firmly, pulling Seven tightly against her own body. The gasp that escaped Seven's lips and entered into Janeway's mouth made any last semblance of rational thought disappear. After several long, pleasurable minutes, the Captain pulled away from the kiss, grabbed Seven's hips and forcefully shoved her back on to the couch.

The air left Seven's body in a gasp when she landed, but before she could even look at the woman responsible Janeway's naked body was astride her lap, the Captain's lips locking onto one of her earlobes biting it gently. When the woman's tongue reached out to lick at the lobe and her mouth started sucking, Seven felt the throbbing between her legs increase.

"Oh, Captain!" Seven moaned out deeply as Janeway alternated sucking and biting her earlobe. Seven never would have guessed her earlobe would be an erogenous zone. She brought her hands up to tangle in the Captain's hair as Janeway started nibbling down her neck, down further to her collarbone where she proceeded to trace a path with her tongue to the blonde's full breasts.

Janeway breathed in the scent of Seven's skin as she traced her tongue around the woman's areola, not letting the moist muscle touch the erect nipple. Her hands were resting on Seven's hips not moving she wanted Seven to concentrate fully on what her tongue was doing. After gently nipping at the lighter shade of pink around the nipple, Seven began arching her body in to Janeway's mouth, trying to manoeuvre her now painfully erect nipple into the woman's mouth. Janeway was having none of that and kept moving her mouth away, waiting for Seven to beg.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Captain, please!"

"Please what, Seven?" her warm breath brushing across the cool nipple.

"I need you to..."

"Yes, Seven?" Janeway was actually having an extremely hard time controlling herself. With her legs on either side of Seven's legs she could feel herself getting wet again and was fighting the urge to push herself onto Seven's leg below her.

"My nipple, I need you… need to feel your mouth on it."

That was what Janeway had been waiting for. She lowered her mouth to the waiting nipple, letting her tongue come out and flick it once. Seven tried to thrust the nipple in to her mouth. Janeway finally took pity and enveloped the erect skin in her hot, wet mouth. Sucking deeply as her tongue erotically played with the nipple.

"Oh, yes, Captain!" Seven groaned out loud as she felt the sensations from her nipple shoot directly to her groin. The Borg's hands tangled in the Captain's hair, pushing against her head, urging her on.

Janeway wished she had two mouths so she could taste both at the same time. After worshipping one breast for endless minutes she moved over to the next one, Seven again groaning as she took the nipple into her mouth.

Janeway moved her hands up to take the place of her mouth, letting them pinch and massage now even harder nipples while moving her mouth down Seven's stomach. She kissed and licked the warm metallic bands there. Now kneeling between Seven's knees, she spread her legs as far apart as they would go. Janeway slipped her hands beneath Seven's thighs and pulled forward, making the young woman slide toward her, exposing her center fully to Janeway.

"You are so wet," Janeway husked, seeing wetness coat every inch of the woman. She breathed in the intoxicating scent and moved her head towards it. She knew Seven was watching her so she extended her tongue and wiggled it suggestively as she moved it towards the waiting heat.

Seven whimpered.

Janeway took a very small lick up one of Seven's labia causing the blonde to jump and gasp out "Captain!"

Janeway savoured the taste of the woman a few moments before grinning up at her and then promptly burying her tongue inside hot, wet folds. Seven groaned out "Oh, yes, Captain!" so deeply it sent shivers up Janeway's spine. The young woman's hands were still in her hair and she was now trying to rock her hips in a rhythm that would move Janeway's tongue closer to her clit.

_My, my, Seven, very impatient aren't we? _She laughed to herself.

Janeway torturously moved her tongue up to Seven's clit where she began to slowly lick the hard bundle of nerves. Seven shuddered under the ministrations and kept moaning between pants of quickly sucked in air. Janeway was burning for this woman, she wanted to feel what it was like to be inside her, to feel those internal muscles clutching around her fingers as Seven fell over in to euphoric bliss.

The Captain brought one of her hands from beneath Seven's thighs where she'd been holding her. Moving her fingers to Seven's wetness she caressed the skin there with them, coating the digits in the woman's juices. Just as she was poised at the entrance to Seven's heat another thought entered her mind, one she should have been aware of before, but was too caught up in the heat of the moment to think of. She was going to be Seven's first! _Oh, shit! Seven's a virgin! _Her mind yelled at her.

Janeway froze. Seven looked down her with confusion, her eyes drowned in passion.

"Ca ...Captain?" she questioned between breaths. There was no doubt or hesitation in Seven's eyes.

"Please," Seven begged, "I need to feel you inside me."

These words spoken from those lips doused any hesitation Janeway might have harboured. She moved her mouth back to Seven's clit, sucking it inside her mouth and battering it with her tongue. The sudden onslaught causing Seven to buck her hips forward and scream out, "Captain!"

After Janeway felt Seven was sufficiently stimulated, which did not take long, she moved her index finger to Seven's entrance and slowly started to move inside. Feeling the first warmth cover her fingertip took all her self-discipline not to thrust all the way into the woman. She slowly moved forward until she felt a slight resistance and knew she had reached Seven's hymen. Concentrating her tongue on working Seven's fully engorged clit. When Seven was nearly at the edge and pleading for the Captain to go deeper inside her, Janeway finally continued her slow movement and pushed past the barrier. If Seven felt any pain she didn't show it, only groaning out "Oh, Captain" as Janeway buried her finger as deeply inside Seven as she could. Janeway knew Seven wasn't far off from her climax and started a slow repetitive movement in and out of the blonde that seemed to send her wild. Janeway wrapped her free arm around Seven's back to try and hold her steady as the strong woman bucked madly. Sucking hard on Seven's clit, she tried to keep her mouth attached to it.

_Burn this moment into your brain Katie; remember every detail, every texture, every taste, and every moan this beautiful woman gives to you. _

"More," Seven gasped out between quick intakes of air. "More...of...you...inside...me."

Seven said each word between the thrusts of her own hips onto Janeway's finger. Janeway moaned at the eroticism of the moment and pulled out of Seven slightly bringing her middle finger to join her other one. Slowly she pushed the two of them back inside Seven, groaning at how tightly the wet walls hugged her fingers. She matched the thrusts of Seven's hips, letting her set the rhythm. Her tongue continued its assault, pushing hard and fast on Seven's swollen clit.

Seven started grunting above her and she thought she heard the sound of fabric ripping. It was only then she realized Seven had removed her Borg implanted hand from her head, only her human one remained holding onto the Captain's head. Janeway didn't have time to wonder what the Borg hand was doing however as Seven started groaning loudly and her thrusts became more pronounced. Janeway felt Seven's inner walls get impossibly tighter and soon felt the first orgasm the woman had ever had.

Janeway felt the tight band of muscles gripping her fingers, contracting around them violently. Seven yelled out and tried to shove the Captain's face further into her. Eventually the abrupt movements of Seven's hips slowed and Janeway slowed her ministrations simultaneously. When Seven finally slumped back against the couch, spent, Janeway kissed her way back up the beautiful body and placed a possessive kiss on Seven's full lips.

Seven opened her eyes, a smile forming, until she was smiling so widely they broke the kiss and looked at each other.

"Ensign White to Captain Janeway," effectively broke their shared look of infatuation with each other. Janeway looked around to see where her combadge was and glimpsed it near her desk. Where her dress still lay in tatters...where Seven had fucked her senseless. A self-conscious blush found it's way to her face as she jumped up from her position between Seven's legs and walked down the two steps toward her desk where she grabbed the combadge off the floor.

"Go ahead, Ensign." Her voice completely controlled, giving away nothing of the activities that had been taking place.

"I just thought I should make sure you're okay Captain. I heard some...noises coming from your ready room."

Janeway's blush deepened. "I'm fine, Ensign, thank you." She replied, cutting the link.

Janeway looked up at Seven who was still seated on the couch, gloriously nude and smirking.

The Captain looked at her severely. "You think this is funny, huh?"

Seven kept smirking.

Janeway couldn't help herself any longer and doubled over with laughter. Here she was a Starfleet Captain, having sex not only in her ready room, but on her desk and she was in hysterics about it! What was wrong with her?

_Nothing at all, Katie. You're finally happy, admit it!_

Janeway had to admit she certainly felt on a euphoric high right now. Searching with her eyes around the room for her clothes she saw the pile of shredded material that used to be her dress and bent down to pick it up.

"Little over-zealous?" she remarked, turning back to Seven. The remains of the dress dangled from her fingers as she shot a lop-sided smirk Seven's way.

Seven's smirk however was gone and she was looking at Janeway hungrily. When Janeway had bent over Seven had received quite a good view and her desire was rising sharply within her again. Seven rose from the couch, walking seductively toward the Captain.

"On, no. No, no, no." Janeway knew damn well what Seven was thinking. "We are not doing this again in here." She stepped backward toward the replicator as Seven continued advancing. "I already have to hope Ensign White doesn't start any rumours about what she's already heard in here!" Janeway pointed out, struggling to keep from giving in.

"I will take care of Ensign White," Seven promised.

"I should clean up this mess," Janeway tried, gesturing with one hand toward the debris from her desk.

"I will clean it later. I have also placed a high level Borg encryption code on the door," Seven explained, stymieing Janeway's next half-hearted protest.

Janeway was against the wall now, trying desperately to maintain her thoughts. Seven now in front of her pulled Janeway against her, both gasping as their naked skin came together. As the blonde was bringing her head down to kiss the auburn woman again Janeway said very quickly, "Computer, site to site transport, two to beam to my quarters." As Seven's lips met hers Janeway had the quirky thought that she'd never gone through transport in the middle of a kiss before.

"Oh god, Seven! Yes! Harder! Oh fuck, that is … uh, uh, ahhhhhhhhh!"

Seven and Kathryn were sitting in the middle of Janeway's bed. Kathryn was sitting in Seven's lap; her legs wrapped behind the Borg's back, her arms wrapped around her smooth neck. Janeway's head was thrown back in ecstasy as the scream ripped from her already hoarse throat. The strap-on dildo fitted around Seven's waist connected their bodies. They'd retrieved the toy approximately 90 minutes ago and had been enjoying it since. Seven had been stunned the first time they used the device and she could actually feel the sensation of entering Kathryn on her clitoris. Kathryn explained to her that the device communicated all the sensations to Seven's clit as if the dildo were Seven's own appendage but Seven had been un-prepared for the intensity of feeling. Once she adjusted however, it had been a most rewarding experience. She had actually been able to feel Kathryn's internal muscles clench around her clit as the older woman climaxed. The pulsating grip caused her to climax simultaneously with her Captain.

This time Seven only watched as Kathryn fell over the edge and into bliss. She had disabled the sensation communicating feature on the device, only wanting to give Kathryn pleasure and record every nano-second in her eidetic memory without distraction.

The last waves of the orgasm rippled through Kathryn's body and she fell against Seven's chest, panting heavily. Seven cradled Kathryn to her, hugging her tightly and running her fingers lightly up and down the Captain's back. After a minute Janeway shifted back on Seven's lap, grunting slightly as the dildo moved inside her. Janeway gently pushed with her hands on Seven's chest, indicating the woman should lie down. Seven did so slowly, mindful of the device still inside Kathryn. Once she was lying back, Kathryn moved forward slightly and lifted herself off the dildo. Janeway let herself drop onto the bed next to Seven with a happy, tired sigh. Seven lifted her own hips and un-strapped the device from her body, setting it on the bedside stand next to her. Turning back around toward Kathryn, she slipped one arm under the auburn woman's head and the other wrapped around Janeway, pulling the smaller woman closely into her own body.

Janeway snuggled into Seven and smiled. "You are an incredible lover, Seven of Nine."

"I am glad you find me to be an acceptable lover, Captain." Seven's tone held a hint of teasing.

Janeway snorted. "You're beyond acceptable, Seven! And I told you, you are now quite allowed to call me, Kathryn."

Seven smiled and kissed Janeway softly. "Yes, Kathryn."

"I must admit though, I sort of liked when you called me Captain when we're making love."

"I know," Seven smirked, her tone now smug.

Kathryn smiled and gave a gentle slap to Seven's backside.

"Computer, time?" Janeway asked.

"0312 hours."

"Jesus," Kathryn whispered.

They'd been making love now for six hours, at _least_. Janeway was sure she'd never made love that many hours in a row before in her life! The two women had actually yet to talk about anything. Once they'd materialized in the Captain's quarters, Seven ravished her and they'd done nothing but make love since. There'd been a few short breaks in which Seven brought Kathryn something to drink but other than that, there was only sex.

"I can't believe we've been going at it this long," Janeway commented.

"Making up for lost time," Seven replied. She heard the phrase recently and thought it entirely appropriate.

Kathryn looked up into Seven's crystal blue eyes and let herself become lost in them for a moment before replying. "Maybe… something I never intend to allow myself lose again with you."

"In the ready room before you made love to me for the first time, you said you had been waiting years for it and three hours and fourteen minutes ago you said you love me. How long have you had these feelings for me, Kathryn?"

"I've had these feelings for you since the first time I saw you," Janeway sighed. "Even on the Borg sphere with all that metal attached to your body, I saw the woman beneath the plating. When I removed you from the collective and confronted you in the brig, all I wanted to do was wrap you in my arms and hold you. I admit I wasn't in love with you then, but already I cared deeply. The next time I saw you was in Cargo Bay 2, your armour was removed and…" she turned to look into Seven's eyes "my god, Seven, you were the most beautiful person I'd ever laid eyes on. It wasn't just your physical appearance either, what I saw when I looked in your eyes made my heart stop, my stomach clench and my breath catch. It was over-whelming."

Kathryn lowered her eyes and rested her head back on Seven's strong arm.

"However, I was in no position to look at what any of my reactions to you might have meant. So, I buried them."

Janeway was quiet for so long Seven thought she had finished speaking, but the husky voice started again.

"Then the Borg Queen tried to take you from me," she tightened her grip around Seven, "I would have done absolutely anything to get you back. If the crew hadn't agreed to go after you, I would have gone myself. After that, I couldn't deny that I was in love with you, but I still felt I couldn't tell you."

"Why?" Seven asked. No accusations in her tone, no hurt, no hate, just simple curiosity.

Kathryn sighed again. "There is such a long list of reasons I could give you, Seven. Protocol, conflicting my command decisions, the crew's reaction, the fact that you were still new to humanity. All the reasons I kept telling myself not to tell you, but the simple truth of it is, I was scared. What would I do if you rejected me, as I was sure you would? How could I continue to face you everyday? After I put my heart out there, how could I continue to pretend I didn't love you?"

"I would not have rejected you. I too have been aware of my love for you since the incident with the Borg Queen. The greatest fear I had in returning to the collective is that I would never see you again. I would never see your smile again or hear your laugh. The thoughts of being separated from you were most… painful."

Janeway looked up at Seven and saw her own tears shining in the young woman's eyes. "I've been so stupid, wasted so much time, but that's over now. I do love you Seven of Nine and I plan on showing you just how much everyday for the rest of my life."

Kathryn kissed Seven slow and deep, letting their souls connect.

They held each other for a while before Kathryn got the courage to ask about a few… other things.

"Seven, about the holo-Chakotay program of yours?" She bit her lip pensively. She just revealed to Seven that she'd invaded her privacy and was sure Seven would not appreciate that. Seven still hadn't answered after a few minutes and Janeway dared to look up. Seven was blushing, brightly.

"Seven?"

"That was a mistake." Seven breathed deeply and tried to explain. "I created the program to explore if the feelings I had for you were unique or whether I could feel them for anyone else. I did not. I have since de-compiled the program."

A look of disgust was now on Seven's face and it took all of Janeway's inner-strength not to laugh out loud at her cute expression.

"After that … experience, I planned to tell you how I felt, however, we were captured and forced into slavery not long after. I did not get the opportunity once our memories were restored. Again, I thought of telling you, but I then learned of your involvement with the woman on the planet and felt you would not love me in return, so I attempted to dismiss my feelings as irrelevant."

Seven attempted to explain in her normal, clipped Borg tones, but Janeway could hear the lingering doubt in her voice. Kathryn kissed her softly again, wanting to remove that doubt.

"And Alex?" Janeway hesitantly asked. "I saw you two kissing that night before you danced and later that same night I know you were in her quarters after midnight. I assumed you were involved in a relationship with her."

Seven raised her eyebrow at the petite redhead. "How did you know I was in her quarters that night?"

Now it was Janeway's turn to blush. "I asked the computer your whereabouts," she admitted so softly Seven may not have heard it if not for her Borg enhanced hearing.

Seven did not comment however. "I was in her quarters that night. We were on her bed and in the process of engaging in copulation." Janeway's body tensed and she stopped breathing. "However, when I closed my eyes it was you I saw in my mind and I ceased intimacy with Alex at once. The only intimacy I have ever shared with Alex is kissing."

Janeway's breath came out in the form of a relieved sigh.

Seven put a finger under Kathryn's chin and raised the beautiful face to her own. "As I told you, Kathryn, there is only you. There will only ever be you. It is you I love."

Kathryn felt her eyes getting moist and blinked back the tears. She'd love to let it go at that, but she couldn't. Something else nagged at her.

"Alex chose to stay on Voyager … she's in love with you isn't she?"

"I do not know. She has never said and I have never asked. We have both agreed we are very close friends and do not want anything to interfere with that."

"She may still be in love you though."

"She may. However, she knows you and I are in love and that any option other than our being together is unsatisfactory and futile."

Kathryn chuckled and kissed Seven on the chin.

"Is this why you have been drinking, Kathryn?"

"What does that mean?" she snapped, immediately on the defensive. _Damn it Katie! Don't snap at her! _"I'm sorry, Seven, I didn't mean that the way it came out."

Seven only kissed her forehead and waited for Kathryn's answer.

"I've been drinking a lot more than I should in recent months. I'll admit that lately a major cause for that has been what I perceived to be happening between you and Alex."

"Is that why you were drinking in your ready room?"

"Yes," She paused for a moment before continuing. "I've also been having nightmares for the last three months." Kathryn admitted, shivering slightly with the memories and snuggling impossibly closer into Seven's body.

"What were these nightmares about?" Seven asked tightening her hold around Janeway, wanting to provide comfort.

"You. Almost every damned one of them was about you dying!" Janeway confided, her voice anguished. "They were happening nearly every night. I was only getting 3 hours sleep sometimes. The alcohol allowed me to sleep without nightmares."

"It was stupid and not exactly conduct becoming an officer. Especially a Captain," Janeway added, disgusted with herself.

"You cannot always be the Captain, Kathryn."

"I wish that were true, but out here I have to be."

Seven chose not to argue the point with her right now. There was a time and place for everything and this was not either.

Seven stroked her fingers through Kathryn's hair soothingly. "I will stay with you tonight." It was all she could think to offer. For all her Borg enhancements there was nothing she could do to stop Kathryn's nightmares.

"I was hoping you would," Kathryn responded, placing a kiss between Seven's breasts.

"Do you wish to discuss your nightmares?" Seven asked.

"No, not now. Right now, I just want to go to sleep in your arms."

"Acceptable."

Kathryn Janeway moaned in relief as she stretched her sore muscles, consciousness pulling her from her dream. She smiled as she remembered it, for once not a nightmare, but a fantasy of she and Seven together on Earth, in her family home. Seven sat next to her, their hands intertwined, both ring fingers adorned with simple silver bands. Kathryn's smile broadened when she realized how happy she felt. She hadn't wakened feeling happy in months. _Let's be honest, Kathryn, it's been years._ Kathryn knew the warm body she felt next to her had everything to do with how she felt and how wonderfully she'd slept, knowing her nightmares would not be returning.

Stretching some more, she groaned as a few of her bones cracked, relieving even more tension. Despite the soreness from last nights activities Kathryn felt great, better than she could ever remember feeling since being stuck in the Delta Quadrant. She felt absolutely invigorated! Slowly, she opened her eyes and the smile vanished from her lips. Seven was looking down at her, blue eyes raging with desire. Kathryn inhaled sharply, barely suppressing a gulp from escaping upon seeing Seven's feral expression.

"I have been observing you sleep for two point seven hours. While I find this a highly satisfactory and aesthetically pleasing pursuit, my neural processor has accessed forty-three supplementary sexual positions I would like to attempt with you, _now_."

"Is that all?" Janeway squeaked, shivers running down her back at the timbre of Seven's voice.

"For now," Seven replied, a seductive grin forming on her lips.

As their lips connected, Kathryn looked forward to exploring and then thoroughly indulging every erotic fantasy Seven's inventive neural processor would come up with

**THE END**… or is it?


End file.
